Pop star and perpetrator of fashion's recent no-pants fixation Lady Gaga is apparently intent on adding the title of designer to her resume. Obviously she won't be the first musician to debut her own line (just yesterday came news that Kings of Leon have joined the ranks of recent crossover acts). However, something tells me a Gaga-approved clothing line would look quite unlike anything other musicians-turned-designers have so far produced. In a recent interview with Flare, the provocateur responded to the prospect of premiering her own fashion line by saying, "at some point, I will. Right now, I’m more concerned with using my fame to promote young designers such as Gary Card, an artist who designed a piece I used on stage."

She wore plastic bubbles for David LaChapelle on the cover of Rolling Stone and, in no particular order, appeared bloodied at this year's VMAs, wrapped a Slinky on her head during a taping of Ellen, and for some reason has an outfit made entirely of stuffed frogs. She might be the most frightening woman in the world aside from Bai Ling, which, when paired with an aversion to pants, makes for Halloween costume gold. A friend of mine went to a party as Gaga with balls, which was rather disconcerting, but her aside, here are five of the more awkward interpretations from Saturday night.

● In Michael Lohan’s guesstimation, Lindsay Lohan has a week, or a month, or a year to live and needs to be in a long-term rehab, lest she wind up like Heath Ledger, who Michael would like you to know was very close to Lilo. [NYDailyNews]
● Lady Gaga’s ninth tattoo will be a dedication to her father, who lived through open-heart surgery. Fittingly, Gaga plans to get a heart with the word "Dad" inside of it. [ContactMusic]
● Natalie Portman defends her vegetarianism by comparing eating meat to rape. [Celebrity-Gossip]

The collaboration(s) of the century is/are here. Remember Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, when they round up all the figures from different periods of history and go blasting around time and space to end up playing a concert at their high school with history's most vaunted figures? This is like that, except, it's Our Lady of the Immaculate Penis, Ms. Gaga, and Ms. Beyoncé Hova (nee Knowles). Yes, this will be the "Ebony and Ivory" of our time, of the women of our time, in the Age of Gaga, in the Age of B, this is what we've been waiting for our entire lives without actually knowing we were waiting for it. Except some of us did know. This also comes on the heels of Beyoncé announcing Lady Gaga's guest spot in her upcoming single, "Video Phone," which they recently shot the Hype Williams-directed clip for in Greenpoint. So: what do we know?

“I’m in da toilet! Call me back in five?” A clicking sound signals the end of my call to Ari Up of the Slits. Three decades after forming the all-female punk- and reggae-infused band at the age of 14, she hasn’t smoothed any of her charming rough edges. When the Slits released their debut album Cut in 1976, they plotted the downfall of the Queen with the Sex Pistols and their rowdy cohorts. They inspired everyone from Boy George to Cher. When they first started getting radio play, hosts refused to utter the band’s name. Still, the Slits’ recognition and legacy has been minimal at best. After disbanding in the 1980s, Ari moved to Borneo where she lived with a local tribe. She later relocated to Kingston, Jamaica, where she has become a dreadlocked dancehall legend known as Medusa. Here, the outsider’s outsider discusses her decision to re-form the Slits and release this month’s Trapped Animal, while considering her deadly Jamaican routine, and why Madonna and Lady Gaga owe her big.

Maybe America has endeared to Adam Lambert in spite of his penchant for black nail polish and spy-wife trenchcoats because he's not afraid to go back into a time that many of us would sooner forget: College! That was an era for many fey folk to learn what it meant to "explore" the "furthest reaches" of their "sexuality." For some of us, it meant a series of dates with an incompatible gender that culminated with confused stares and lukewarm portions of General Tso's chicken. For others, it meant a series of meaningless, inconclusive dates designed to prolong the journey toward an inevitable conclusion. And for Adam Lambert, giving life the old college try entails a lot of backtracking designed to endear him to the ever-narrowing aesthetics of the Bible FUPA. He's out, but he's too proud, and with this Details shoot, perhaps he can tiptoe back into the closet enough assuage gay panic, awkwardly positioning himself next to/with a lady in the process.

Maybe it's Chuck Bass' tortured histrionics (who could resist that pronounced pout!) or the chance to admonish Jenny Humphrey for her sartorial sins (such sloppy bangs!) More likely, it's The Hilary Duff Effect. That is, the trotting out of marquee-caliber guest stars the show has drawn (including Tyra Banks and Lady Gaga). But the social-climbery soap has ensnared a superstar, a feat her her former bandmates couldn't: Victoria Beckham.

Were you aware that yesterday was National Coming Out Day? Why, it was a grand ol' party in the US-gay! Perhaps you were aware, and unlike me, bothered to rinse your avocado face mask, peel cucumber slices from your eyes, and take out your curlers. Maybe you went onto attend this sold-out Sapphic beauty pageant or a concert uptown featuring a small Australian woman singing songs into a microphone. Maybe you chose to celebrate by drowning out the window-rattling reggaeton of thoughtless downstairs neighbors by having a dance party-for-one to the tune of the Saturdays' newest not-terrible record. Or maybe you made like a good gay, unburdened by the blatant futility of wanting to make a statement on gay rights when the President already has, and you actually Chinatown-bussed it down to D.C. for the National Equality March. In which case, I'm sorry. That's $34 and a chunk of your weekend that I cannot help you get back. But hey, at least Lady Gaga was there!

I think Havelock Ellis had it right when he said “The absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw," but that still doesn't stop bloggers from rating and ranking celebs into categories of babes and butterfaces. For those of you who are a little out of touch with the meme, it's a woman (or a man) who has a beautiful body, though her face is anything but. In other words: everything looks good but her face. Banned in Hollywood is garnering some attention for their recent list of internet butterfaces, and Complex and Gunaxin have a couple of curated lists as well, though Gunaxin's list seems to be a product of personal taste (Uma Thurman has an ugly mug?). Obviously, an exploration of this concept proves that these lists are simply a matter of taste, with people grouping Leonardo DiCaprio and Penelope Cruz in the category. Beauty should remain in the eye of the beholder, but forum addicts, commenters and personal blogs all try to gain some consensus, debating who should reign supreme as the unfairest face of them all. Although none can agree on one, there are several that seem to top every butterface list.

I'm not so sure that there's room enough in the pop pantheon for two queens. Not the Hall of Fossils, mind you, where certain others are eyeing shelf space proper enough to hold their cryogenically frozen heads when the time comes. But at the forefront of America's pop consciousness And if there is indeed space there, I'm not sure whether Beyoncé will quietly relent and offer Lady Gaga a chance to rule alongside her, as Americans are obviously in need of some capable pop despots after this horror. In this sense, Gaga's ubiquity -- from SNL to Carnegie Hall -- is quickly transforming her into pop royalty. Which is why snagging the one-woman search-engine optimizer for Gossip Girl might be the biggest casting coup for the soap yet.