Larry David opens a gift. It's a GPS unit in one of those fused-shut plastic clamshell cases. He tries opening the package, but finds it difficult to get into. Within the next 30 seconds, there is stabbing and screaming; sparks fly as knife metal is stabbed into a stone countertop. Blood is drawn, the gift is destroyed, and the scene has devolved into violence and agony of a magnitude that you can't find on whatever pretentious scripted dramas with which you're currently obsessed. It's just another joke about plastic clamshell packaging, but Larry David made a genius comedic moment out of it.

● Jon Gosselin’s current girlfriend Hailey Glassman says he’s “emotionally abusive” and throws “mantrums,” although she still loves him and is still with him and don’t worry she knows their relationship is “not normal.” [People]
● 50 Cent declares: “the credit crunch has hit rap.” Need proof? The rapper must sell his old diamonds before he buys new ones. [Telegraph]
● The Catholic League is mad at Larry David’s alter-ego Larry David, who accidentally peed on a painting of Jesus in a recent episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. He's also Jewish, not that there's anything wrong with that. [Popeater]

Whatever Works reunites director-writer Woody Allen with Larry David. The legendary funnymen had previously worked together on Radio Days and New York Stories. Most actors would be ecstatic to be offered the lead in a Woody Allen movie, but David had a much different take. “I thought Woody had become unhinged,” he says. “I wondered who put this crackpot idea in his head. And of course as with anything I’ve ever been offered, I didn’t feel up to the task. Feeling up to the task is not my thing.” David eventually took on the part of Boris Yellnikoff, a man who is so disenchanted with his marriage, luxurious lifestyle, and the human race that he tries to commit suicide. Saved by a canopy outside his uptown Manhattan apartment, Boris gets divorced, moves downtown, and meets a much younger woman, Melodie (Evan Rachel Wood). The two ultimately learn a tremendous amount about love and life from one another.

Did you have to dig deep to play the role of a middle-aged Jewish man?
That aspect was really unusual. I tried to find as many Jews as I could and befriend them and talk to them and see what made them tick. I went back to Brooklyn and walked the streets and interviewed people, "What's it like being a Jew? How do you behave?"

● Are you going to see Watchmen this weekend? So is everyone else. Eighty midnight screenings sold out last night, and the studios are expecting a $70 million opening, despite a 2.5 hour run time. [deadlinehollywooddaily]
● Exciting news for CurbYour Enthusiasm/Seinfeld fans: Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, and Michael Richards will all appear in a multi-episode arc on the new season of CYE, overseen by Seinfeld co-creator Larry David of course. This is the first time in 11 years the whole cast will appear on the same show. [EW]
● Daft Punk will add some much need awesomeness to Tron 2.0 by scoring the film. [LAT]