• Good morning! People who are responsible with money have purchased some rhinestone-studded glove that Michael Jackson wore once for about $350,000. [BBC]
• John Mayer has made the claim that celebrity musicians typically make bad records. Stones and a glass house, honey. [DigitalSpy]
• Along those lines: Jennifer Lopez has a new music video out. It is about the thrills of preparing lattice pie crusts, but features close-ups of her lips for no particular reason. [D-Listed]

Back in August 1995, Type O Negative frontman Peter Steele did a Playgirl cover. And man, he did it right. Readers from that dusty era may remember Steele's unflinching verve--and how he saw the NSFW centerfold role for what it was: A smart way to drum up publicity. Also, he didn't half-ass it (har har!) In fact, he unabashedly pushed Canadian decency laws. Sure the trade-off for showing the full monty meant that Steele would age into a cultish camp figure instead of an immortal goth rock dreamboat. But fundamentally, he'll be remembered for having the cojones to showcase his, well, cojones. In the 14 years of delightful moral erosion following Steele's Playgirl glory, we can't say the same for the first man of Wasilla. Playgirl's new best: a tame monochromatic Levi propped up against a bathroom wall at a Taco Bell somewhere. Blah.

● John Mayer has a crush, and her name is Taylor Swift. What makes her so attractive? Her humility (take note, Jennifer Aniston). Mayer adds: "Taylor Swift is the last person to know she's Taylor Swift, which I think is totally sweet." [DigitalSpy]
● Here’s a little insight into the world of Victoria Beckham: She usually wears nothing to bed, loves saying that she eats hamburgers, and has nixed self-tanner. [Us]
● Levi Johnston has shot down Sarah Palin’s Oprah-induced Thanksgiving offer saying it was "a nice gesture, but she didn't mean it," and even if she did, it would be totally “awkward.” [People]

Apparently, people really wanna see this kid's wang. The Huffington Post has posted in quite the huff this preview of Levi Johnston's upcoming Playgirl spread. In a matter of hours, 862 learned, articulate and web-savvy readers have commented on the photo of a 19-year-old aspiring model from Wasilla. Not much is known about the shoot, except that he looks to be showering, or perhaps sweating shirtless in a tiled prison. The New York Post promises 90% full-frontal nudity. Playgirl consultant Daniel Nardicio's Twitter feed said there would be a hockey stick involved. In any case, it's funny that so many people are heading over to news sites to look at a naked man. But this isn't the first time a male celebrity has caused a ruckus by going rogue.

● Levi Johnston doesn’t show his johnson in Playgirl, according to a spokesman for the site. How can we ever trust him again? [NYDailyNews]
● Is Amy Winehouse going the way of Courtney Love? No, not with drugs, rather with plastic surgery. After getting a boob job, Wino is considering a nose job, as going under the knife has become her new obsession. [DigitalSpy]
● Are Nicole Richie and Joel Madden really married? She didn’t correct her lawyer in court when he referred to Madden as her husband. [People]

● In light of infidelity claims, Fergie says in this month’s Cosmo that husband Josh Duhamel loved the extra weight she put on for her role in Nine. [Us]
● Levi Johnston is steaming mad at Conan O’Brien -- or at least his manager is -- over the William Shatner sketch mocking Johnston and his supposed Twitter account, claiming they will sue if the show doesn’t retract the sketch. [TMZ]
● Busy Phillips called out Chad Michael Murray as a “douche" at the Paley Center event for Dawson's Creek, adding that “she’s not worried about burning bridges with CMM." [zap2it]

It's fitting that to commemorate the one year anniversary of Sarah Palin's attempt to systematically dismantle the free world, almost son-in-law Levi Johnston is threatening to release secrets he claims would more or less irreparably crater the erstwhile vice presidential candidate's public persona (allegedly to regain custody of son Tripp). In previous eras, we'd have elaborate costume dramas and grisly bloodshed to glamorize heated custody rows like this. But we're living in a post-Gosselin America where trash is royalty. So we can't expect malevolent queens to rule with ermine tippets draping from their elbows, let alone administer torture with a snap of their fingers. Heck, these days, even a command of the English language is hardly a necessity. However, a list of what sort of dirt -- reasonable to outlandish -- the Playgirl prince may have on the unhinged queen mother of Wasilla follows after the break.