Rohin Guha
February 08, 2010
Once upon a time, we used to be a civilized nation--and our barometer for success was Lindsay Lohan's rising star. And then, the broken institution that is Child Protective Services failed to wrench Lohan away from her parasitic parents. So the Parent Trap starlet crashed, burned and became a one-woman personification of American decline. Which then puts us here: Lohan reportedly getting smacked around by ex Samantha Ronson. And according to an insider's confession, this Whitney Houston-Bobby Brown dynamic has become routine for the pair.

