Last week, Down By The Hipster reported that Le Royale, the fun, music-driven joint on Leroy Street, was closing. DBTH later retracted the statement. I think Scott got it right the first time. A swarm of weekend phone calls from employees and people in the know annoyed my friends as we sipped pineapple juice at Fannie Chan's poolside Thompson LES weekly. This story is confusing with partners not speaking and a sale seemingly needing only a dot of an 'I' or cross of a 't' to be real. Terry Casey, an owner and the face of the place, is himself unclear as to what will happen and when.

It's been roughly over 200 days since Barack Obama took office, and since then, he's faced criticism from piggish buffoons and corpse-like wenches who just don't get it. Every day we watch unattractive talking heads yappity yappiting about health care and beer summits, and it's as painful to listen to them as it is to look at them. If someone's going to talk smack about our president, they'd better be attractive. In order to help Obama get better looking critics, we combed the city in search of the best looks money can buy, and we found it at the newly revamped Scores. After the jump, find out what nine strippers-turned-pundits think about our Commander-in-chief.

I awoke to the sound of CNN blaring great economic news to my Martinez Brothers-blown ears. Cielo is winding down its summer programming, and as reported earlier will close August 1 until September by court order. The Martinez Brothers are no longer the new kids on the block and seem destined to become legends before they reach 21 years of age. As I write this, the good people over at Pacha are awaiting a decision by Judge Joan Madden regarding the fate of the last mega-house club this town can boast. I have heard unsubstantiated rumors of economic troubles over at M2, and to me, Webster Hell is not a consideration. Home and Guesthouse just shuttered under the weight of enforcement, and the question "who's next?" looms large. Is it a coincidence this latest round of crackdowns by the powers that be is happening just as an economic recovery is waking me and the whole country up?

I call it Nell's. Despite my deep affection for everything Noel Ashman, a space always maintains the name of its greatness, and 246 West 14th Street had its fame when it was named Nell's. Scott Sartiano and Richie Akiva received unanimous approval of the full community board yesterday, and they will open a restaurant on the ground floor and a club/lounge downstairs. Their success at Butter and 1Oak guarantees that this place will be grand, plus, I and my partner Marc Dizon have been hired to design it. We feel very honored. I designed Butter for them a number of years ago, and that experience really boosted my design career. They are a couple of bright guys who are very hands-on and deeply motivated to create something hot and fresh. This is a very sexy project, and I'm quite excited.

Cielo, one of the two remaining iconic house music clubs, will be closed for the month of August for violation of a court -ordered stipulation. This stipulation required the club to search everyone who entered the premises. Cielo staff failed to search a member of a team of undercover police who, according to sources, have been "tasked to violate specific nightclubs." This police team is made up of "members of both narcotics and vice, and it was such a team involved with the Sean Bell tragedy." A source told me "undercover police teams are buying bottles at clubs all over town," and these officers are "specifically looking for narcotics sales involving club promoters and security." Another source added, "the police can gain entry to clubs where they previously would have trouble getting past the doorman by buying bottles; they use fines from violations to pay for the table."

That line is a real little joke offered by me when somebody tries to explain to someone from Peoria who I am. Years ago, I was a driven club mogul trying to create and operate the best nightlife places on earth. The word "driven" is an understatement. I was a monster. To my close friends who took the time to look past my rough exterior, I was the chihuahua-owning gardener and loving husband. To many I was a reason to be uncheerful. That "they" person says you can't make an omelet without breaking eggs, and I guess I made enough omelets to keep Denny's flourishing for decades. Yet over the years I did make a ton of friends, and for the most part I was respectful to those who gave respect and even to those learning that seminal lesson. Those close to me have stood by me through some real thick and thin times. For last night, I put on my Steve Lewis mask, and I was able to pull in a lot of favors for the good cause (see photos by Kirill). I asked some of the best DJs, doormen, and promoters around to work for free for an event many think created an opportunity for positive synergy with those "they's" holding power over our club community. The outpouring of love and genuine good time had by all reminded me of an era when the mixing of music and folks from different strata of society was as common as the scowl on my face.

Tonight is the first night of the rest of our lives. The Nightlife Preservation Community party at M2 tonight will bring out the masses. But before the hoi polloi gather, a serious schmooze-fest will be taking place between the owners and operators of clubs and politico types who are RSVPing in droves. The politicians are predictably figuring out that the hundreds of thousands of voters enrolled in the marketing banks of club promotional entities can make a big difference in upcoming primaries and elections. The final DJ lineup ensures a huge turnout. Chloë Sevigny will introduce New York Nightlife Association honchos Rob Bookman and David Rabin -- sometimes known as Batman and Robin. With only a little help from some friends, these two have fought the good fight for many years. At times, they have been the only thing preventing the industry from collapsing under the weight of oppressive legislation and enforcement. The NPC will give them new tools to forge ahead with a more cooperative effort between the city and the clubs. We are not trying to fight City Hall; we are trying to have City Hall recognize nightlife, a $10 billion industry, as a useful revenue-generating tool in these dark economic times.

A long time ago, a very bright guy over at KBA Marketing (Jon Deitlebaum) sat with me, and we came up with the idea of an end-of-year party for club/bar personnel. The Bartenders' Balls were not just a magnanimous gesture from RJR Reynolds (of Camel Cigarettes fame) and the liquor brands that sponsored them, but rather an attempt to project positive thoughts about specific brands into the minds of those pushing them on the street level. Even though the balls -- like all corporate endeavors -- were rooted in greed, the enthusiasm from corporate executives trying to make the event better each year was simply unreal.

On June 22, an organization called the Nightlife Preservation Community (NPC) is hosting a huge event over at M2 (formerly Mansion). At stake is preserving nightlife as we know it. The event is a sort of Bartenders Ball kind of thing, open from 9pm to 1am to club owners, club staff, promoters, DJs, and industry-related peeps. The public can come after 1am. Chloë Sevigny and Natasha Lyonne will host the event. DJs including Q-tip, Marky Ramone, Junior Vasquez, Danny Krivit, Peter Rauhoffer, Paul Sevigny, The Misshapes, Louie Vega, Berrie, The Martinez Brothers, Alex English, and more have donated their time and considerable skills for the cause. Admission is by invitation only; there will be an open bar from 9pm to 1am for all, and food for owners in a special section. The purpose of this event is to create a sort of political lobbying front so that politicians take the issues affecting nightlife seriously. With the help of Jon Gabel and Joonbug and the great people of Track Entertainment/ClubPlanet, we are in the process of organizing email and text lists of at least 700,000 people who attend nightclubs regularly. Promoters and marketing entities have millions of names and instantaneous reach to a voting-age clientele. There will be considerable overlap, but we will be able to contact maybe 50,000-plus people in a flash in a district where a friendlier politician is running against a foe. The NPC will be heard, just as other political groups have been suddenly heard in the past.

UPDATE: Joao has actually moved on from Le Royale -- see here for details on his new gig.

Upon his arrival in New York, Joao Daniel started working in restaurant kitchens hoping to become fluent in English, but he ended up picking up more Spanish than he anticipated. Like most newcomers, he eventually started hitting the club scene, and surprisingly, this was where he honed his language skills. His nightly activities quickly snowballed into a profession. Now the charming Brazilian has his weekly schedule consistently booked with hosting gigs on Monday nights at Le Royale,Wednesdays at 60 Thompson, Thursday through Saturday at Pink Elephant, and Sunday nights at The Eldridge. He's also in on the Saturday and Sunday pool parties at Hotel Gansevoort. Joao gives us the scoop on where we should be going out.