● Oscar nominee Anna Kendrick may bring Adam Lambert to the Oscars, to class up the joint. [Movieline]
● An intrepid reporters has a rendezvous with Nevada’s only prosti-dude. Must read. [NYPost]
● Gabourey Sidibe continues her charm offensive, in this morning’s interview about her Oscar nomination. [Jezebel]
● Find out if your city likes Gaga and Radiohead more or less than other cities around the world. [My City vs. Your City]

Don't ask us how we ended up clicking through Google images of Madonna's daughter (hint: it had something to do with Cameron Douglas pleading guilty to drug trafficking), but we couldn't help but notice how incredibly hip she is, especially for a 14 year old. And when we say hip, we don't mean as a person, since we don't know her and have never heard the girl speak. We're talking strictly wardrobe. But based on the following ten outfits, we're gonna guess that when Lourdes is painting her nails black, it's not Miley Cyrus blaring in her headphones, it's Major Lazer.

Last night was a wonderful night across the world where if you had never experienced the miracles of getting a colonic, your television brought one to you! So to speak. Celebrities, actors, and other famous people who aren't Heidi Montag, Taylor Momsen, or Lindsay Lohan all joined hands and sang a little prayer for the little country that loves its carbs in a big way. And unless you were "getting drunk for Haiti" or "going on blind dates for Haiti" or "eating lasagna for one for Haiti," you probably remember every moment of this poignant television event like it happened yesterday (which it did!) But in case you fall in the 97% of people who had something else better "to do for Haiti," a quick recap after the break.

You know how at Time magazine, they like to close out their year with a "Year in Pictures" retrospect? You've got sobbing babies in Third World countries, a solitary president standing solemnly in the Oval Office, or maybe a protester somewhere in the Middle East collecting the blood that spills from their busted nose. Well, there's a picture that gloriously landed online today, and we really, really hope it makes this year's cut, because it's a dandy. We'd warn you that it's NSFW, but don't let that stop you. (Tho, really, really, it's NSFW.)

● Lady Gaga cements her status as a real pop star, cancels a show due to dehydration and exhaustion. [Perez]
● Two young South Koreans are the fastest texters in the world, having won a competition that required them to capitalize and spell properly, using no acronyms. So rly, u r tyl as good. [Daily Mail]
● Noah Cyrus contributes, admirably, to the burgeoning homemade ‘Tik Tok’ music video genre, despite knowing very few of the words. (They’re Tik. Tok.) [Buzzfeed]

● Kanye West plans to be on the good karma train in 2010 so he and fem-bot girlfriend Amber Rose got a head start over the holiday weekend by serving lunch to the homeless. [DigitalSpy]
● Madonna is moving on from her British prim and proper mom persona and will now take on the role of eccentric Hamptons cougar, having just bought Calvin Klein’s ex-wife’s horse ranch. [AngryApe]
● Don’t tell anyone but Katy Perry and Russell Brand are secretly engaged. Oh wait. [OK]

Christmas is that magical, precious time of year when many of us will make up for months of missed calls home by buying totally useless crap for the people we love. Yes, Christmas is magical. Our pop stars think so, too. In the spirit of giving, they will take time-honored Christmas classics and then cover them in a last-minute seasonal cash-in. No contemporary carol has been reinvented more than late great Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby." Today, we get to hear another desperate remake of Kitt's jingle, this one by beleaguered Brit band Sugababes. Following covers of the tune by Madonna, Kylie, Shakira, and even Taylor Swift, it not only sounds redundant, it seals the song's fate as the Gayest Christmas Carol Ever.

● Madonna came dangerously close to ruining George Clooney’s acting career when the two went on a date shortly after her divorce. Thankfully Madonna tried to be funny and the date quickly went south. [Showbizspy]
● San Diego would like Lady Gaga to know they aren’t San Jose: she referred to her San Diego crowd as San Jose a whopping eight times during a recent concert. [NBC]
● Sarah Jessica Parker continues to dismantle her Über chic Carrie Bradshaw persona by devoting her new fragrance to body odor and saying that B.O. is “sexy.” [DigitalSpy]

Maybe it was "artistic differences." Quite possibly it was "ageism." Or it could've been the sheer fact that Louis Viutton wanted to expand the brand's consumer base beyond the three or four who bought her greatest hits collection. Either way, maybe fashion house Louis Viutton's attempt at ensnaring a wider target demo by replacing Madonna with Lara Stone--a supermodel who is half the pop singer's age--kind of overshot the mark a little bit. Or judging by the feel of LV's new ads, maybe they felt that the natural, unperturbed ease of someone like Stone would be more inviting to customers.

There was a time when Madonna was clubbing as a girl with potential. Somewhere I have a Xeroxed blue paper invite with her name on it; we paid her like 500 bucks to play Danceteria ... I was upset with her because I needed the dressing room after her gig. She zoomed to the top soon after, and the last time I could talk to her as a human was when she was shooting Desperately Seeking Susan. After that, if I wanted her for an event or to come to an opening, I dealt with Maripol. It was Maripol who got her to the Palladium one night, and a million photos were taken of Madonna sitting on the Michael Todd Room bar reading the magazine that the party was about. It was Maripol who did the famous jewelry that the Material Girl wore in photo shoots and videos. Maripol the documentarian, the creator of underground film Downtown 81. She is club royalty.