Along with your favorite BlackBook editors, anyone who’s Joseph Gordon Leavitt is on the blogging platform Tumblr. And everyone in the social media spherejerk will be talking about the events that transpired tonight for the remainder of the week. So I thought I would prepare you for the onslaught. Straight white person and Social Media jack of all trades Justin Johnson proposed to his girlfriend on the blogging platform this evening to confusion and uproar. (Happiness is a pill hard swallowed by the unhappy.) The issue at play here is that it would have been one thing if the well-edited video proposal was simply included in a post, but the entire site (or "dashboard" in Tumblr parlance) was reconfigured to accommodate his proposal. And as this exercise, forced upon the Tumblr community, will be the basis for a crush of media fodder and commentary about THE WAY WE LIVE NOW, the proposal is inherently tantamount to an advertising stunt.

As a nation huddles amongst their families in their living rooms tonight, heads in their anxious hands, waiting for Walter Winchell or Ryan Seacrest’s twitter to notify us of the condition of recently hospitalized Nicole Richie, we take pause to reflect on the sobering fragility of ... WAIT, WHAT? EGGO SHORTAGE? Yahoo Finance reports that Kellogg announced that it is rationing the Eggo line of goods “due to flooding and equipment problems” at two bakeries. Now you may be thinking how big just are these two bakeries if their overflowing commodes could simply halt production on the rubber stamps Kelloggs shills as waffles. And you would be right. (And adorably indignant.)

BlackBook did it. Yes! We did it! You’re Welcome, America. Our long campaign to bring America’s Sweetheart onto your mom’s favorite microblogging service, Twitter has finally worked. Only two and a half months after mentioning Neil Patrick Harris in this August 29th BlackBook gossip round-up he has finally tweeted his first tweet. OMGICU can have Tracy. We wanted Dr. Horrible and we got him. Our subtle ploy to mention the gossip item that “Neil Patrick Harris has been added to the revolving door of guest judges on American Idol” was clearly a compelling call to action, but we were even surprised at the rapidity with which he responded. He even follows…

This is a technology blog right? I mean, we even talk about the same exact tech news on two separate occasions we’re so set in tech. So it is in the spirit of tech blogs that we welcome Time Inc.’s Techland, a blog that’s not really a blog because it’s owned and operated by Time Inc. It’s brand new and this time of night is all about reporting breaking new. Sadly, before we open our arms and let them into our insular world of KPIs and DPIs we must warn you: they use the word “nerd” ten times in the introductory post. I KNOW. Well, it goes to show you that just like their parent company they are tragically behind the eightball.com in the trends of ubiquitous online parlance. You’re not a nerd. You’re just on the internet. And so am I. So what’s going on with the site?

I JUST came back from the perpetually underwhelming Coffee Shop in Union Square with the girl. It’s far from the Elite Model farm team that it was when I was a handsome 14-year-old LA transplant. Back then I used to cop two dimes for a quarter, nahmean? Chelsea Now reveals in an interview with co-owner Carolyn Benitez today that Coffee Shop is expanding beyond its ugly walls and the worst bathrooms to do drugs in this side of a midtown pub. Owners will be taking over the lease of that silly lil' Chelsea area Empire Diner that I pass everyday en route to better meals. I know what you’re thinking: he reads Gothamist. It’s true. But in my defense, I was checking the weather. But what of Empire and their low-lidded waitstaff?

Before you think this is a sponsored post, advertorial, or integrated promotion just stop thinking that and let me put on some Archie Whitewater as I slide this post inside you. Even if it was one of those things, which its not, what would it matter? You read me because I use a lot of hyphens and talk about black entertainers. Plus, who even knows or cares if they are being advertised to anymore? Today the NFL clamped down on a Diageo campaign for Captain Morgans no one even knew existed. Players were striking the Captain’s pose in the end zone? That thing from the commercials where people enjoy untucking their shirts and playing pool? What a pointless idea. Well, except that I just took the viral bait by talking about it. DAMMIT. WHATEVER. You win this round, advertising. Speaking of advertising, has any other company tried harder to get you to have sex with strangers than Virgin Airlines? Oh, every spirits, fashion, and Carl’s Jr. ad you’ve ever seen? DAMN. Second point to advertising. Anyway they’ve done something new and sparkly that I think is pretty shit cool.

Early reports from KABC-TV in Los Angeles indicate that Mike Tyson was the latest victim of a photographer’s wrath. Around 4:30pm PST Tyson was allegedly struck by the violent flash from a local barbarian photographer rampaging through the Los Angeles International Airport brandishing his Canon EOS-1D Mark III SLR. The camera, believed to have been used in two previous incidents involving Spencer Pratt and Vivica A. Fox, went unnoticed by airport security. Tyson's spokeswoman Tammy Brook says the boxer “was traveling with his wife and 10-month-old child when he was attacked by an overly aggressive paparazzi.” Early reports of light meter rape have yet to be substantiated.

A profound love and appreciation for finely crafted footwear was never simply relegated to the fairer sex. Just ask OJ Simpson. And for those of us Young American Men (YAMs as we are called) who know that you can tell a lot about a man by the company of shoes he keeps can trace that appreciation back to one man: Phil Knight and Michael Jordan. Understandably, the Jordan I and Jordan II were more about the man than the shoe. But that soon changed with the release of the greatest sneaker ever made, the Jordan IV. After its release, the sneaker industry was never the same. The textures and subtle details of the Jordan IV alone made this author believe in Intelligent [Oregon-based] Design. We were in love. SWOONSH! So as a fan it is no surprise that a Brooks Brothers twine-tickler like Dwyane Wade has been lobbying for years to join the Jordan Brand team. Today that dream came true in ways he had only imagined.

After some dispiriting music-related news it’s good to read something hopeful regarding the industry. By which I mean the future depiction of its recent demise. Producers of the HBOs “The Wire” have purchased the rights to Steve Knoppler’s "Appetite for Self-Destruction: The Spectacular Crash of the Record Industry in the Digital Age". The book describes everything from the technological transition of tape to CD to my time as a marketing intern at Interscope where the lead singer of Puddle of Mudd told me to shut the fuck up. Because he’s a man and a writer and as such thinks people care what he has to say, Knopper, a former columnist for Rolling Stone, has some ideas for the show and its musicians.

Hollywood used to be the place where your dreams came true, but now it’s a place where mine do. Jamie Foxx and Matin Lawrence will be combining their cross dressing comedic talents when they reprise their roles as In Living Color’s Wanda and Martin’s Sheneneh in a future movie project announced today. Jennifer Lopez shouldn’t have the monopoly on In Living Color alums making terrible life decisions, right? From Kim to Jim, everyone should have their chance. Variety informs the uninformed that the project “originated as a parody of a movie trailer for a film called ‘Skank Robbers,’ which Foxx and Lawrence made for the BET Awards. The reaction was strong enough that the duo decided to turn the concept into a real film.” SKANK ROBBERS!