Did you know: Dorothy Zbornak never existed. Neither did Jill Munroe on Charlie's Angels. You see, America, we willed such iconic figures into existence, by sheer force of will, probably fueled by our disproportionate booze-to-food intake--just in time for this year's Oscars. At least this is what the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Science wants us to believe. Currently being taken to task for egregiously omitting both Bea Arthur and Farrah Fawcett from their Demi Moore-hosted "In Memoriam" tribute, the AMPAS are playing an unlikely card now: The "If We Pretend They Never Existed, No One Will Care" card.

Almost two weeks after Tilikum killed one of his trainers, Sea World still isn't sure what to do with the killer killer whale. This of course begs the question, haven't Sea World execs seen the hit 1993 film, Free Willy? Spoiler warning: at the end of the film, Willy is indeed freed and a cheesy latter-era Michael Jackson song, "Will You Be There", accompanies that freedom. But since Tilikum has been in captivity for decades, doesn't have a troubled 12-year-old to be his advocate and MJ is no longer around to write cheesy theme songs, a Hollywood ending seems quite unlikely.

● Michael Jackson's children were playing with a taser. In some bizarre twist on Cain and Abel, Jermaine's kids wanted to stun Blanket. [TMZ]
● A woman claiming to be Diddy's wife was arrested after trying twice to get into a house she thought was his. Little did she know he's not married and probably lives on a yacht. [AP]
● Kanye West on creativity, in all caps, naturally. [Kanye West]

"Inevitable" is the word that keeps coming up in reports of the forthcoming "We Are the World" remake. This year is the song's 25th anniversary and, as we've witnessed, stars love singing for charity. There's no doubt Haiti could use the proceeds from the redone single and music video, scheduled to drop in 10 days, but the endless cast assembled skews a bit toward "why?" and more often toward "who?!" The most popular guests are only as impressive as your familiarity with pop radio, including Jordin Sparks, Usher, Pink, and Miley Cyrus, while the surprising or impressive participants pretty much begin and end with Gladys Knight and Raphael Saadiq. But it is being reported that Lil Wayne will sing the Bob Dylan solo from the original, in what might be the most accurate, if counter-intuitive, 1985 to 2010 conversion imaginable. And it got us thinking: how do today's contributors match up to the first crew, including Lionel Richie, Paul Simon, Stevie Wonder, Diana Ross and Bruce Springsteen, besides that they're all less famous? We've selected some celebrity doppelgangers, abstractly at least, after the jump.

How do you honor a dead man who was an abused child star and a torrid spectacle as an adult? Why, with a theme park, obviously! We are talking, of course, about Michael Jackson and a new theme park where he's the theme.

You may remember Zaldy Goco as the long-locked brunette designer who helped Gwen Stefani through the first few seasons of L.A.M.B. The downtown fixture--who has been working in the industry in some form or another for two decades--also sat at the helm of his own namesake line from 2002-2006; that is, before he took on the gig of being costume designer to the stars. "From Rufus Wainwright to RuPaul, Mary J. Blige to Jennifer Lopez, and Mick Jagger to the Scissor Sisters, Zaldy’s fashion-meets-music resume is impressive and diverse indeed," says Business of Fashion, which recently sat down with the photogenic designer for a two-part interview (here and here). But, arguably his greatest gigs to date have been working with the late Michael Jackson and Lady Gaga.

• Gossip Girl producers are apparently casting a new boyfriend for that character who looks like the younger brother of one of the Backstreet Boys. You know the one. [Digital Spy]
• How do you totally thwart a publicity stunt poorly disguised as a charity mission? Ask Lindsay Lohan. In one tweet, she's undone days (!) of hard work. [Telegraph]
• Holidays? More like Horror-days. Target's canceling Zhu Zhu Pet orders! [Consumerist]

As 2009 draws to a close, fans everywhere are celebrating the life/death of the King of Pop, and London is no exception. England cannot get enough, and to prove it, they've opened "Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition" which will be on display through the end of January. Tickets run anywhere from $25-$30 and will gain you entry to a large and eclectic display of Michael Jackson paraphernalia. A few standouts:

● Hell hath no fury like Kitson scorned. The painfully hip Los Angeles store is wielding their retail power over Lindsay Lohan after she demanded $15,000 worth of free clothing for being such a "good customer." The store is deeply “offended” and owners are thinking of dropping Lohan's leggings line. [FoxNews]
● Katy Perry’s parents don’t have much faith for her relationship with Russell Brand in the long run. Her father has said, "I have met Russell, I'm not thinking he's the guy who will be her husband, but he's a nice guy." [MrPaparazzi]
● Rihanna may or may not want her next boyfriend to be good in bed and have a sizeable "umbrella" of his own, but she certainly didn’t say that during an interview with German magazine Bravo. [GossipCop]

Oh, look! Another flailing pop queen in distress. They're all the rage aren't they? What with their Brazilian boy-toying and their creative multitasking. Get too close and they may burn you with their fiery vitriol! Stay far away and they get needy. Yes these flailing pop queens are a fickle breed. But they, too have feelings. Like Janet Jackson, for instance -- who, between staring down some harsh truths about her late great brother and forthcoming obligations at some asinine awards ceremony, is having the worst week ever.