Oh, look! Another flailing pop queen in distress. They're all the rage aren't they? What with their Brazilian boy-toying and their creative multitasking. Get too close and they may burn you with their fiery vitriol! Stay far away and they get needy. Yes these flailing pop queens are a fickle breed. But they, too have feelings. Like Janet Jackson, for instance -- who, between staring down some harsh truths about her late great brother and forthcoming obligations at some asinine awards ceremony, is having the worst week ever.

● John Mayer has a crush, and her name is Taylor Swift. What makes her so attractive? Her humility (take note, Jennifer Aniston). Mayer adds: "Taylor Swift is the last person to know she's Taylor Swift, which I think is totally sweet." [DigitalSpy]
● Here’s a little insight into the world of Victoria Beckham: She usually wears nothing to bed, loves saying that she eats hamburgers, and has nixed self-tanner. [Us]
● Levi Johnston has shot down Sarah Palin’s Oprah-induced Thanksgiving offer saying it was "a nice gesture, but she didn't mean it," and even if she did, it would be totally “awkward.” [People]

Oh, hello! You're still there? Excellent. Here's your end-of-the-weekend, doused-in-the-mists-of-Ida box office round-up. It's fairly predictable, with the most predictable development reflecting our fickle whims as American pop consumers. Meaning that with the Michael Jackson documentary This Is It sliding 60%, perhaps it's time for all the king's men to start pointing fingers at each other, lobbing jagged accusations like "You're not faithful enough, I loved Michael more!" as they tear each other to shreds, devolving into pagan beasts of burden. On the sunnier side of things, Precious enjoys growth of about 225% this week, mostly because of a wider release. Also, 2012 made like a kajillion dollars and ranked at #1, so everyone will be talking about that tomorrow.

Michael Jackson is experiencing the kind of renaissance that happens when an iconic figure crosses over from living breathing legend to idolized, exalted hero dead before his time. And the more that the media digs into his past, the more that we find he truly was one-of-a-kind, a unicorn of a performer -- someone who genuinely seemed to be "motivated by a genuine desire to delight his audience." One such motivation manifested itself in a theme park, one that sadly, never came to fruition. The enchanting Peter Pan Neverland theme park was highly conceptual; in the mockups you could see it was possible to enter the park by "flying" on a magic carpet ride, or by boat, through some mysterious caves. Ahem.

Apparently all that candy and booze still hasn't mitigated the crushing sorrow of a universe still mourning the loss of its Last True Pop Icon. And all those tears have helped to cultivate some fat banyan trees of box office profits for Sony Pictures, the distributor shilling This Is It domestically and abroad. The documentary hauled in over $20 million over the weekend, bring its total tally to over $100 million since its release on Wednesday. But there's shame! That is, most of those profits (more than two-thirds) come from about 97 other countries. Meaning that if we, as good, goddess-fearing Americans who write threadbare puffpieces about how we fail to follow through with basic obligations are going to insist on blubbering about how Michael Jackson has passed, we need not half-ass our anguish.

This evening, Sony cleared out all the other movies at the Regal E-Walk megaplex in Times Square, and instead screened Michael Jackson's This Is It on what seemed like every theater in the building. Our ticket was checked by burly men in suits about five times before we got into the theater, and all ushers were wearing The Glove. The whole thing had the weird air of the premiere that wasn't really the premiere. When we got inside, the actual premiere was happening in L.A., and was being broadcast live on the big screen. Seeing some microphone-wielding dame call Jennifer Love Hewitt a "singer/songwriter" and then ask her what kind of impact Michael Jackson had on her life was going to be tough to top, as far as pure entertainment is concerned. So how did This Is It do? First impressions, after the jump.

You know, just the other day I was hoping that someone would satisfy my need for a highly styled coonskin cap. It's time the trademark topper of fashionistas like Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone got a design update and made a comeback. Imagine my excitement when just this morning I found out that the Kate Gosselin wig was available for purchase. The hair chunk is meant to complete your Jon and Kate Plus 8 Halloween costume, but it could do double time to give your '"slutty frontiersman" costume a fashionable update.

Yesterday, Sony screened 12 minutes of the upcoming Michael Jackson concert film documentary hybrid This Is It for anointed journalists. While the studio ordered a fascist press blackout on anything they saw until the film's release -- as if detailing 12 minutes would somehow curb its box office chances -- we were given access to the film's director Kenny Ortega, who was also directing the concert itself. After the jump, get a load of what he had to say.

If you’re planning on going to see the Michael Jackson documentary This Is It next week, you might have to cross a picket line. Reuters reports that a worldwide contingent of the King of Pop’s fans have condemned the film as a grossly inaccurate depiction of Jackson’s final days, and they're planning some small-scale agitation (flier-ing mostly) when it premieres on the 28th. United under the banner This Is Not It, the group alleges that the picture will serve to enrich the very people (handlers, agents, filmmakers, et al) whom they believe contributed to Jackson’s untimely death at age 50. We’ll be getting the whitewashed version, they believe, while the truth is somewhere on the cutting room floor.

● What’s the greatest thing about being divorced? Reese Witherspoon says it’s being able to go to more concerts with BF Jake Gyllenhaal. [JustJared]
● LaToya Jackson believes someone paid Conrad Murray to kill Michael Jackson because of the wealth they stood to gain in doing so; she now fears she’ll be killed for this knowledge. [Celebrity-Gossip]
● Sienna Miller wishes she could be like pal Keira Knightley, who has managed to keep her personal life out of the press. Miller admits not being too “bright” in that department. [Showbizspy]