● Jeremy Piven says his "moobs" (man boobs) came from soy milk abuse; the actor started out as the “guy that dabbled in soy milk” but it quickly escalated into drinking 12 cups a day -- which contained enough estrogen to give him boobs. [Us]
● Michael Lohan says Lindsay Lohan is a “beautiful girl” but “she looks 100 years old." [E!]
●What men think about, according to Kate Hudson: “Game scores, masturbation, and food." [Us]

● In Michael Lohan’s guesstimation, Lindsay Lohan has a week, or a month, or a year to live and needs to be in a long-term rehab, lest she wind up like Heath Ledger, who Michael would like you to know was very close to Lilo. [NYDailyNews]
● Lady Gaga’s ninth tattoo will be a dedication to her father, who lived through open-heart surgery. Fittingly, Gaga plans to get a heart with the word "Dad" inside of it. [ContactMusic]
● Natalie Portman defends her vegetarianism by comparing eating meat to rape. [Celebrity-Gossip]

● Looking to buy a castle or two? Nicolas Cage is unloading all of his castles, mansions, and even his yacht due to his manager losing all his money. [BostonHerald]
● Did Michael Lohan’s Maury Povich plea to Lilo work? Not so much. Lindsay is now seeking a restraining order against her father, saying that she’s “scared” of him. [People]
● American Idol execs have told Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacreast to tone down the gay innuendos and jokes when new judge Ellen Degeneres is on set. [Celebitchy]

● Caring father Michael Lohan vows to get Lindsay off those prescription drugs she’s been taking, so her acting career can finally get back on track. [Radar]
● Speaking of hot mess Lohans, Frances Bean Cobain has written an open letter to Ali Lohan urging her to “work her ass off,” ‘cause Lohan’s “idea of fame isn’t fame.” [Twitter]
● Jenny McCarthy is looking forward to dating “Curly,” as boyfriend Jim Carrey is in the midst of gaining 40 pounds to play him in the upcoming Three Stooges film. [Yahoo]