Journalism is a venerable institution with a shrewd eye towards breaking news stories and trends. Cutting-edge coverage like pumpkin shortages and sad Santa stories. Who knows why, with such breakthrough coverage, this towering industry tipped over so easily, shaking out a class of journalists who now wriggle around for SEO traction. Or maybe they've just reached their limit of Miley Cyrus' unlikely chokehold on headlines. Also unknown is how the minutiae of this popsicle's life continues meriting front-page attention. Like pretending to be a Big Apple princess or hatin' on Twilight or fake-dying last week. On that last disturbing note, it seems that many mass media outlets really want to marry Miley Cyrus off to the Grim Reaper. Especially with their awkward coverage of a tour bus of Cyrus' entourage that tragically overturned, killing a single person. Who was not decidedly not Cyrus. Awkward headlines and keyword positioning after the break.

Can you resist the cuteness monster that is Miley Cyrus? Disney is doing everything it possibly can to make sure you can not, throwing all the cheesy, clichéd charm possible into the trailer for Cyrus’s next film, April’s The Last Song. Based on a Nicholas Sparks book that has yet to be released (Sparks wrote the novels that inspired The Notebook, A Walk to Remember and Message in a Bottle), The Last Song appears to contain a whole bunch of stuff you’ve seen; estranged parents, moody teenagers, young love, annoying-cute little brothers and Miley in full sassy, snotty, endearing mode. The one thing you haven’t seen is where she pretends to be a New Yorker -- but obviously one who will grow to hate New York. Honestly, it kind of works. Judge for yourself after the jump.

● Courtney Love talks about the time Sharon Stone screamed at her in front of Anna Wintour. Oh, memories. [NYMag]
● Miley Cyrus hasn’t seen Twilight -- and doesn’t plan to. “I don’t believe in it. I don’t like vampires ... I don’t want anything to do with it.”[EW]
● Twihards, brace yourselves: Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart will lock lips in their next film, The Runaways; according to Fanning, it’s a very passionate kiss. [AccessHollywood]

A couple weeks ago, I was perusing the aisles of my local bodega, clawing for a brick of coffee that wasn't months past its expiration date. During this pursuit, a pair of tweens came stampeding in, their muffin-tops spilling out over their denim cut-offs. They were yammering on about whatever it is tween girls talk about (boys, nail polish, and the UN's plan to earmark $1.5 billion to boost agriculture across Africa and The Middle East) when suddenly "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus came on the radio. At this point, girl one turned to girl two and remarked, "OHMYFUCKINGGODISTHISMILEYCYRUS? IFUCKINGHATETHISBITCH I NEED TO LEAVE. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE." Girl two tried to retain her composure, quietly offering, "Chill out." But girl one groaned and made a series of grunting noises I didn't realize the human throat was capable of generating. I was mortified.

You know what's been really singeing the edges of Miley Cyrus' lone brain cell? How not to be such a tabloid magnet. The pop coquette said to a friend who told an ex-girlfriend who told a pre-op trans-centaur who inevitably told a tabloid, "People will always say that I'm overworking, overexposed and want all this attention. That's not true." Surely Cyrus realizes that her voice will always be heard around the world, like the hyper-amplified bleat of a sheep. Whether it's her take on issues like unemployment topping 10.2% or her views on flarf poetry, everyone will always wait for the Miley Moment before continuing further discussion.

Mild sadness! It seems that venerable siren of song and screen Miley Cyrus' so-called party is quickly devolving into a pitiful shitshow. Cyrus is finding that, yes, every party has to end. And the culmination of all of these things is her version of that single moment when she runs out of Doritos, the keg dries up, cops arrive on her front door, and a nimrod swipes her iPod. Having recently been voted Worst Celebrity Influence by a poll that scientifically determines such absolutes, Cyrus has decided that now is the best moment to launch into a nuanced monologue about the terrors of Twitter.

The Notorious B.I.G. isn't going anywhere, anytime soon. Tupac may put out posthumous album after posthumous album, but B.I.G.'s rhymes apparently live forever, and ever, and ever. Nowhere is there better evidence of this than in the mashups produced with his tracks mashed into them in it year after year. The latest batch aren't too new, but they are nothing short of stellar, and we've rounded them up: teen popster Miley Cyrus gets her party on, epic post-punk/R & B revivalists The xx go "Runnin" with B.I.G. and 'Pac, MGMT gets their electric felt, and Passion Pit goes toe to toe with Biggie Smalls and Beyoncé Knowles.

In preparation for their pièce de résistance, their magnum opus, their heartbreaking work of staggering genius, their Citizen Kane -- that is, Sex and the City 2 -- seasoned screen sirens Kim Cattrall and Miley Cyrus decided to get caught wearing matching dresses and what appears to be large animal pelts on their feet. This sequel finds the pair facing off, hopefully, in a plot line torn straight from the pages of the classic 1997 John Travolta/Nicolas Cage thriller Face/Off. And apparently part of such plots includes channeling ravenous Valkyries hopelessly hunting game.

So much palaver about how our beloved president got this cute shiny new thingy from some people who get together a few times a year, in the name of a dead Swedish chemist! Congratulations, B.O.! But in all fairness, the precedent was so low, like way below-the-asthenosphere low, that it makes us wonder if perhaps this glitter-and-fairy dust party was a bit too premature? As one person on my Facebook feed so aptly put it, Obama may have jumped the shark, but he was simply treading water as the shark swam under him. Although he's being awfully humble about it. But if we're handing out Nobel prizes based on aspirations over achievements to people of average intelligence who do not want to destroy the universe, why not single out people who make a living peddling sunshine and happiness, no matter how banal? Obviously, all arrows point to Miley Cyrus.

● Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl are reprimanding the makers of Guitar Hero for giving gamers the ability to make Kurt Cobain rap in the new version of the game; Courtney Love (of course) wants to sue. [FooFighters,GameSpot]
● It’s one thing to flaunt your rebound relationship in the tabloids, but Kate Gosselin thinks Jon Gosselin bringing his girlfriend to meet their kids is crossing the reality-show line. [Radar]
● Miley Cyrus is being approached to make a cameo in the Sex and the City 2. [MTV]