I didn't go to the Yankees parade today, because as much of a fan as I am, the kind that go to parades are the kind of sports fans I try to avoid in general: people who can get out of work on a Friday and be shitfaced before I even wake up. Well, these were the people who got to watch Yankee mascot Jay-Z perform "Empire State of Mind" for Mayor Bloomberg, the World Series-winning Yankees, and the thousands of drunk people who descended on downtown New York, from the Battery to City Hall, to scream at their favorite team, centaurs and all. Video after the jump. The image of Jay-Z rapping in front of City Hall? Priceless.

Who purchases a ticket to see Britney Spears in tour and actually expects her to sing live these days? She's not Miranda Cosgrove, so let's not hold her to unrealistic expectations. Although some assy member of the Australian parliament has. And what a shocker it is, where said member tears Brit-Brit a new one for not bothering to use the god-given gift of singing when she performs in concert. She insists that concert-goers should be made aware at point of purchase, that the concert probably will not be live. Err, people who know Britney know that they're not going into hear Maria Callas or even a slightly post-crack Whitney. Spears hasn't released a tune in over five years that hasn't been autotuned and vocodered within an inch of its life.

Zona Rosa on Haight Street in San Francisco is a colorful joint that makes a mean veggie taco, but if I’m really in the mood for killer Mexican, I head over to the outer Mission’s La Taqueria, where authenticity is the name of the game, right down to the vibrant murals on the walls. That authenticity is what gives me qualms about trying to serve Mexican food at a dinner party. I can’t pretend to be from Mexico, and the Mexican food you buy out is always so good and so cheap that it seems pointless to make it at home. Of course, sticking with authentic Mexican means no tempeh, which means no mixing up the proteins for vegetarian guests. To remedy that, try the recipe below, which may not get much play south of the border, but is great for a festive night entertaining at home.

No Doubt did the same stupid thing Nirvana's people did when they signed up their songs and likeness to be in the latest installment of Guitar Hero (Band Hero). Naturally, players are allowed to take the avatars of Gwen Stefani and Co. and make them sing songs they probably never want to sing, ever. Like "Everything Zen." Naturally, the band or the band's people were too stupid to realize this, and now, they're suing the stupid people behind Band Hero. How pissed are they? Pissed! After all, the makers of Band Hero are now responsible for breaking No Doubt up.

"Old hag!", "Wigged, wailing walrus!", "Shriveled she-beast!", "Miserable old cow!" and "Are you still upset that someone prettier replaced you on X-Factor?" are among a litany of barbs that come promptly to mind when considering the unnecessarily sharp words Sharon Osbourne had to offer in a radio interview recently, on Susan Boyle, pop star for the everyperson. I mean sure, Osbourne could neatly dust her shrill outbursts under a make-believe category of "blunt observations." But if someone were to approach the Osbourne matriarch on the street and say, "Excuse me miss, I'd appreciate it if you could collect your dead skin after shedding it on the pavement. I have nothing against snake ladies, but that discarded snakeskin really is a blight on our quaint street," would that also fly as a "blunt observation"?

Pitchfork not the review you can come to expect from Pitchfork, it still falls short of where it should be; Dave Grohl and Co. deserve more from Pitchfork, and yes, they deserve some rest. The Foo Fighters aren't a band I listen to often. They're not innovative, they're not groundbreaking, and they've been pretty much doing the same thing for the last four albums. But the Foo Fighters are a great band, a great band for right now, and a great band to embrace as great. Here's why.

And it's not just because their album titles vaguely rhyme either. But Amerie's In Love & War is one of the more unexpectedly delightful entries in hip-pop this year. It also builds substantially on her reputation as "that fashionable lark who chirped that catchy jingle some years ago." In fact with Rihanna's Rated R out soon, Amerie's strategic timing provides ample opportunity for those put off by the drama swirling around Rihanna to find a substitute who isn't as hyperbolic as Beyoncé. Four albums in and In Love & War may just be the beginning of her creative crest.

Crude header for an even cruder bit of oversharing, I suppose. However, at least Jeremy Piven's not alone! Recently, Patron Saint of Everything Amazing Dolly Parton tweeted about the ginormity of her breasts, "Aahhh chiropractor ... Hurts so good :-) you lug these around and see if your back don't hurt!" And you know who took a break from tearing the CW a new one (sheesh, the netlet's down on its luck, isn't it?) to agree with ol' Dolly? Her new BFF Jessica Simpson!

"I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears," the Barbadian pop princess tells Glamour in an exclusive interview. It's well-timed for her comeback. This isn't to say that when Rihanna awoke, she shaved her head and tattooed a heart to the back of her neck, all before chasing down a car with an umbrella. It means that the media hoopla around her personal hell became a frenzy overnight. And rather unexpectedly, too. "That was the level of media chaos that happened the next day."

While Sufjan Stevens is busy trying to figure out what the hell to do with all those incredible, awesome, too-long-for-some-people-but-really-well-worth-the-wait few pieces of new material, we're stuck with nothing! BQE's orchestrations are nice twee background music if you're on a particularly light trip of mushrooms, but other than that, we need our fix, Soof. Well, we got it -- the Sufjan finally got mixed up with some hip hop. How is it?