Holy. Shit. Restaurateurs, chefs, service industry-ites, foodies, and Eater are inevitably (simultaneously?) celebrating, freaking out, or mourning this morning's announcement that New York Times chief restaurant critic, Frank Bruni, will be retiring his position. Bruni's going to be promoting his upcoming book and moving to a position as a writer-at-large for The New York Times Magazine. Personally, I love Bruni, and this makes me really, really sad. That being said, we must look to the horizon, because we're speculative bloggers with nothing better to do. So: Who will replace Frank Bruni? Unqualified speculation, go!

"All the News We Hope to Print" is the slogan for this July 4, 2009, edition of the "New York Times" being distributed on the streets of New York City today, and of course, online. It's one thing to take a progressive-lefty satirical style from the Onion school, hack up some NYT templates, and post an amusing website. But this joke is beyond elaborate -- the newsprint edition is 14 pages long, mimics the NYT style and format exactly, and comes complete with satirical (color!) ads. Who says print is dead?

In any typical work week, many on-the-go New Yorkers are likely to kick-start their mornings with a healthy breakfast of the New York Times, coffee, or soda, or maybe a can of Pringles snagged from a convenient newsstand. NYT photographer Rachel Barrett artfully documented and catalogued 236 newsstands over two years, from shiny Wall Street kiosks to humble, well-worn Harlem stalls, and even a few mom-and-pops in Midtown that were casualties of recent city buy-outs. Barrett's series tells the biography of a city that, unlike flyover country, hasn't completely succumbed to car culture. See the slideshow here.

New York Times dining critic Frank Bruni's recent savaging of Ago -- the Italian restaurant in part owned by Robert De Niro -- was the source of water-cooler chatter and foodblog amusement this week. Like most critics, Bruni is always most entertaining when he's got his claws out. So how does his trashing of Ago compare with one of his most legendary bad reviews, that being a ritual execution of Ninja, a ridiculous theme restaurant with a readily guessable motif? Let's discuss! And just for comparison's sake, I'll throw in Bruni's high praise for Robert's Steak House, the widely acclaimed meatery nestled in the voluptuous folds of the Penthouse Executive Club. Yes, it's steak with a side of strippers. Go ahead and pretend that bothers you.