Sixth borough, my ass. Call Philadelphia whatever you want any other time, but this week, in New York, we call them one thing: "Fucked." Because the Yankees have the best team they've had in years, and they're about to win their first World Series since 2000. Granted, it's eight years late, but sometimes we need to play catch-up. For those who will have to tolerate watching the seven games with you -- or watching the Phillies lose in four -- we've come up with some decent alternatives to your average digs you'd watch baseball, for those who might find this a less-than-pleasurable experience. Batter up.

It’s hard to stand out in a city populated by naked cowboys, that screeching guy who wears bird feathers and bells in Union Square, and Mike Nelson. But when the ships dock in New York for Fleet Week and its annual Memorial Day celebration, the Coast Guard and Navy mariners dressed head-to-toe in their white, starched uniforms aren’t exactly subtle. That said, a handy how-to on nabbing seamen might be helpful. (Full disclosure: They’re everywhere!)

Happy birthday, Boss! BlackBook executive editor Chris Mohney is a cringeworthy 38 yearsold today! [You're certainly right on the cringing part. -CM] He spends his days supervising the efforts of trained monkeys (fellow blogger Ben Barna and myself), strenuously trying to avoid any events that would call for either of us to be shot dead. After work, Chris goes home to exert influence on The Littlest Mohney to be nothing like us. But we want to take him out to celebrate! So: where do you take your married, with-child 38 year-old boss out for his birthday? Answers after the jump.

Sometimes when I have a tough day at work, I like to go around the corner to Old Town Bar and grab a pint of Guinness. If it’s been a particularly hectic day, I might opt for whiskey. That got me thinking. How would I drown my work sorrows if I’d just gotten busted for jacking, say, $50 billion from pretty much half New York plus (literally) their moms? I’m not gonna lie: I do admire this man’s Ponzi-schemin' hustle. And that’s why I’m here to help a brother out. Bernie, if you’re reading this, here’s a step-by-step plan to get you off the couch, make you stop sulking, and kickstart your dormant social life! Cause you’re never gonna feel better if you just lounge around watching Nickelodeon all day.

Glimpse the city as it was before fauxhawks, metrosexuality, and that internets thing.

1. The Campbell Apartment at Grand Central (Midtown East) - Former private office hidden in GCT with flapper-clad staff delivering expert shakers.
2. Bemelmans Bar at The Carlyle Hotel (Upper East Side) - Named after Madeline creator Ludwig, whose murals enliven one of Manhattan’s classiest drinking experiences.
3. Ear Inn (Soho) - Geek-boy film crews and UPS workers in their fly brown shorts both agree on super- old, super-dark tavern.