Another day, another celeb shilling stinky scent. The latest to smell up magazines will be Patrick ("Can't Buy Me Love") Dempsey, who's pitching an Avon scent called "Unscripted" with the tagline, "Follow Your Passion." Randy! Daring! Due on shelves in November, the cologne's press release waxes poetic: "it has a woody green scent that expresses the freedom of the open road with fresh, aromatic cardamom and invigorating cracked black peppercorn. At the heart, a sensual mix of fig and crisp lavender enrich the experience with a warm, sophisticated texture. The drydown reveals an unusual twist -- a bold blend of exclusive leatherwood and patchouli heart wrapped in earthy vetiver and rich musk for an authentic, adventurous finish."

Uber-stylist Rachel Zoe is hard at work to become the Martha Stewart of fashion. She's already released a book, Style A to Zoe. Plus she has a clothing line in the works, her own reality show (The Rachel Zoe Project) soon to debut, and she's even developing her own perfume. Smell the Zoe. Although no release date on the scent has been set, a source said, "This scent will really reflect her personal style and hopefully finally brand her." At last, Zoe will cement her grip on the overly thin, super-tan, luxe boho stylista market.

Luca Turin and Tania Sanchez, two of the world's most well-respected sniffers, are days away from the release of their illuminating and entertaining new book, Perfumes: The Guide. Below, they sound off on Tom Ford's cocaine-and-crotch controversy, slathering George Clooney in rancid butter, and how to decode fragrance-speak. What's "fresh" actually mean? God only nose.

Luca Turin is a biophysicist who specializes in the art of fragrance. In 1992, he wrote his first book on scent, which was the best-selling tome of its kind in France. (Mostly because it was the only book of its kind in France, jokes Turin.) Tania Sanchez is a successful writer and poet, the sour to Turin's sweet, who has traded editorial advice for free perfume. Together, they've written Perfumes: The Guide, a comprehensive, lighthearted, hilarious look at, well, almost every perfume and cologne ever made. It's at once illuminating and silly, but make no mistake, these two take their noses very seriously. Says Turin of the book's imminent release, "I don't have a lot of perfumer friends, but I think that number is going to go down, not up." After the jump, their scents and sensibilities.