Forgive this post. I get picked on for writing about Scarlett Johansson too much. I get distracted because I think about her too much. And a while back, I almost got arrested for following her too much. Er, that was a joke (or was it?). But when the object of my obsession is in personal e-mail correspondence with future Time Magazine "Person of the Year" Barack Obama (he may not win the Presidency, but he’s guaranteed that honor), how is that not news? ScarJo revealed to Politico that she e-mailed Obama after some of his televised debates to congratulate him. But she—apparently oblivious to her own allure—is astonished that the senator maintains their back-and-forth. “You’d imagine that someone like the senator who is constantly traveling and constantly ‘on’—how can he return these personal e-mails?” she asks. “But he does, and in his off-time I know he also calls people who have donated the minimum to thank them. Nobody sees it, nobody talks about it, but it’s incredible. I feel like I’m supporting someone, and having a personal dialogue with them, and it’s amazing.” Big deal, he probably has an iPhone or Blackberry. Someone should tell her that!

Nostalgic naysayers suggest that "Saturday Night Live" has lost its edge, and most weeks we tend to agree. The show, however, has always been spot-on with its political satire and politico impersonations. To celebrate the few funny sketches other than Debbie Downer, the folks at NBC have launched an official "Saturday Night Live" Politics site. There's a bunch of fun stuff there including videos, e-cards, and candidate bios from Clinton, Obama, and the rest of the gang. Clinton's page, featuring the inimitable Amy Poehler, explains, "It's going to take someone so annoying, so pushy, so grating, so bossy and shrill... And I think the American people will agree that someone is me." We have to admit, the whole thing is a pretty genius marketing "strategery."

We’ve managed to: get seven-minute abs, spend seven minutes in heaven, run a seven-minute half-mile, watch the first seven minutes of countless movies, count to 420, watch one segment of "24," read one page of Being and Nothingness, and write this post. But never did we think that in seven minutes we’d get a complete rundown of the neverending story that is the Democratic race for the Presidential nomination. Never, until now.