Lock up your daughters: Inked, but sharly attired, a band of sartorial punks inject the mean streets of Milan with edge. Photography by Pieter Henket. Styling by Chris Benns. See full gallery.

Not content with his pastime of laboriously sewing together wears of all kind (men's, women's, beach, under, time, and eye, to name a few), it appears Roberto Cavalli has tiptoed into the erogenous turf with some high-end dildos (sex-wear?). Noted drag queen/Pam Anderson roaster/PETA advocate Lady Bunny unearthed the gem after strolling out to a Roberto Cavalli store while in Paris for the Viktor & Rolf runway show.

Whomever said you couldn't buy your way into fame and fortune obviously never carried the Cavalli card. Fortune, of course, depending on the line of credit you're actually offered, but the shoulders you'll be bumping while enjoying the card's many benefits just might bump you into your fifteen minutes. "Created for those who thrive upon excellence, elegance and quality," the iridescent snakeskin-printed card will give your party-hopping friends and black Amex a run for their money, literally. Special VIP services at every Cavalli boutique worldwide, special sale privileges, and exclusive invitations to fashion shows and events are the tip of the diamond iceberg of Cavalli card benefits.

Lagerfeld in Phat Pharm? Cavalli dressing like Rhett Butler? That's the September issue of Harper's Bazaar. The mag wrangled together top designers to dress them up in fantasy outfits. "Michael Kors, Karl Lagerfeld, Donna Karan, Donatella Versace, Alessandra Facchinetti, Giorgio Armani, Alber Elbaz, Rodarte's Laura and Kate Mulleavy and Roberto Cavalli were all asked to get into character as something other than a designer. Armani played the role of Fred Astaire, Kors took on James Stewart's L.B. Jeffries character from Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window, Elbaz reinvented himself as a Hollywood producer with James Bond flair and Cavalli went Gone with the Wind as Rhett Butler; he was shot embracing Coca Rocha as Scarlett O'Hara." Lagerfeld dressed up as a rapper, striking a pose with Phat Farm jeans and untied shoelaces. "Believe it or not, I love rap," he told Bazaar. If only he'd consented to wear his tribute T-shirt.

Not that kind of Coke, you degenerate. Diet Coke -- or Coke Light, as it's called in Europe -- has asked quintessential Italian designer Roberto Cavalli to add a bit of flash to their glass bottles. According to WWD, the Cavalli designed bottles will be released just in time for Milan Fashion Week at the end of September and will run through December. The designer, who's known for his loud patterns, designed three bottles, each with a different animal print. Cavalli remarked that there was no difference between designing for emaciated models and curvy glass bottles ... he'll always create something "seductive and feminine, in typical Cavalli style."

Not to be outdone by Karl Lagerfeld's experiment in Dubai's high-end residential market, Roberto Cavalli is now opening his own fashion-minded enclave in the city -- the Cavalli Club. What can a lucky lush expect at Cavalli's first club? Well, first off, a cool interior design, including black quartz floors, walls dripping with Swarovski crystal, entrance hall featuring Cavalli jewelry, atolls in gold-colored glass and fur, sushi bar and wine bar, Italian restaurant, and Cavalli-signed chocolates. And don't forget the bottomless bottles of Roberto Cavalli Vodka.

For centuries, BlackBook has been locked in a deadly feud with the marauders at Roberto Cavalli. They’ve set our villages ablaze, stolen our children, and refused to let us keep any of their samples. It ends tonight. At Rewind on the Lower East Side, six of our brave soldiers will confront the dark Cavalli minions in a winner-take-all bartending, taco-constructing battle. Our proceeds go to the Samuel Waxman Cancer Research Foundation. I’m scared, and you should be too. After the jump, have a look at our last hope.