Here's a sweet trade for your air miles: breast implants. In a savvy, unprecedented move, Nordstrom Hospital in Helsinki, Finland has come up with an innovative way to redeem miles for plastic surgery. In fact, this hospital offers no other kind of surgery besides the plastic. Nordstrom calls itself "one of the pioneers in aesthetic and reconstructive surgery," and promises the very best in care while you're there. The breast augmentation procedure would normally run €7,950 with an extra fee of €600 (brief) or €890 (extensive) for a warranty. (Yes, it's called a "warranty.") However, as an alternative, you need only trade in 3,180,000 points on your Finnair frequent flyer plan, and the boobs are yours for free! Of course, you must first go in to the hospital for a consultation visit before you can schedule the surgery so they can make sure it's all right to slice you open and pump you full of silicone.

Dear Uncle Steve: My wife of three years -- conservative, incredibly sexy, Catholic -- just asked me to agree to and arrange a threesome as her birthday gift. I never saw this coming, but I’m obviously intrigued and thrilled. How on earth do I choose a woman who’s right for this? And how do I propose the scenario to our new "friend"?

Dubiously, Three's Company

Dear Three’s Company: The timing is your problem.

Some would say Joanna Krupa's career straddles the fine line of physical exploitation and sexual empowerment, depending on the stage of her career and who you're asking. Before she was on Dancing with the Stars, the Polish stunner was known as the swimsuit model. Well, the commercial swimsuit model anyway, because who can top the SI Swimsuit Models? Anyway, before she was the commercial swimsuit model, she made rent by performing in softcore porn, but it was really, very soft-- she tickled co-stars in a tickle fetish film. Around the same time, Krupa posed for her first Playboy cover, without the world even so much as batting an eyelash. But this was all prior to being injected into mainstream media via her moves on DWTS, and now that she's chosen to pose for the December 2009 issue of Playboy, there are many eyelashes batting -- and many of them belong to feminists. But it's all good because Krupa believes that having pride in your body, and bearing the confidence to go bare, is the feminist's way.

The infamous topless coffee shop in Vassalboro, Maine, has finally reopened after the tragic fire that burned the shop to the ground last June. The new digs take the place of the temporary tent that the topless team was operating out of, but Grand View isn't quite back on its feet yet -- the "shop" is currently running out of a trailer parked on the lot of the old space. Video after the jump.

Ace Hotel, the chain born in Portland, Oregon, and which has since expanded to Palm Springs and New York, is synonymous with art and innovation. The hotel (and its founder Alex Calderwood) has made a point of partnering with a fantastic array of creatives on varying projects since the hotel's nascent stages. And, with two new projects -- porn and a pop-up shop -- slated for the hotel's Palm Springs and New York outposts, respectively, there's no shortage of stuff to pique the interest of prospective guests. First off, New York's Ace Hotel is gearing up to debut a pop-up shop come November 14.

Seriously, let’s all start getting British newspaper’s delivered to our inboxes, m’kay? Today, The Telegraph has scrounged up a beaut, not in the form of some barely sourced, patently bogus, but scintillating tale about celebutards (you gotta love the UK’s lax libel laws), but a story about science. Well, to be more accurate, about science and blowjobs. Just like condoms and strawberry flavoring, you only thought they didn't go together.

It seems every socialite has an accessories line these days. Tinsley Mortimer does handbags. Paris Hilton does shoes (among a number of other Paris-stamped products). Zani Guggelman has a jewelry line. And, of course, so does Rachel Zoe favorite Genevieve Jones. And, now, Olivia Palermo, best known for her appearances on The City, is getting into the game.

Now that "adult entertainment actress" Stormy Daniels has ostensibly ended her aspirational political career with the domestic beatdown heard around the internet, there's a gaping void in American politics that needs to be filled. We scoured the adult industry in search of other perfect pornstars who can lift this country from its knees.

● Per Se at the Time Warner Center (Midtown West) - Discreet and intimate, with stunning attention to detail. That's how one would choose to describe this advanced gastronomy resto at the Time Warner Center. It doubles for the bathrooms. Discreet, intimate, and roomy. I can name more than a few hookup tales thanks to these private rooms.
● 1 Oak (Chelsea) - Private bathrooms lined in a row for a gorgeous group waiting in a line. Floor to ceiling coverage, low lighting, and mirrors where you just barely make out your own reflection. Bonus for the fact the attendant never seems to be around. Maybe he's getting it on as well?
● Plaza Hotel (Midtown West) - Act like you're old money having an affair like the rest of the clientele. Restrooms are private and off main grid of the palace, though everyone's too wrapped up in themselves to notice your vulgar behavior. Posh, gilded -- dare we say fucking tacky -- catering to tacky, sexy quickies.

It used to be de rigueur that the beaches of France were filled with topless bathing beauties. It was only the prudes in America that still held on to the archaic idea that breasts should be kept inside a bathing suit at the beach. When the women's revolution swept through Europe, going topless was seen as a statement of owning one's sexuality and body. However, in Christopher Granger's latest book, Corps d’Été, he hypothesizes that the "return to nature" movement is losing steam for a number of reasons. One being that nudity is increasingly sexualized, with an emphasis on perfection, and that the women's movement is now focused on more pressing issues such as equal pay and work-family balance, rather than the rights to flash your tatas. In addition, there's that whole skin cancer argument.