So you have pop stars attempting to salvage Haiti and then you have other more noble pop stars--like Kelly Clarkson--taking it upon themselves to repair the crimes against pop perpetrated by the Grammys. Crimes like that one time Taylor Swift decided to pick up a guitar, yowl out lyrics and make Stevie Nicks cower in the background. It would surprise no one if Nicks thought then, "I definitely should've opened up Stevie Nicks' Fajita Round-Up instead." Meanwhile, Swift's handlers sucked at handling her general lack of not-annoyingness at the telecast. This leaves Clarkson--definitely a survivor of record industry bullshit--to step up and do what Swift's people can't: Defend their client.

● Anne Hathaway got up super early to announce the nominees for the 82nd Academy Awards. Commence your bitching! [Oscars]
● The rapper Nelly plans to lead a "male version of The View," with Jermaine Dupri and Usher; no one plans to really let this happen, let alone watch. [The L]
● Jersey Shore's The Situation is seeking to trademark his nickname for use on clothing. Examples on the third page of the official government paperwork include pantaloons, quilted vests, thermal socks and turtlenecks. [The Smoking Gun]

● Grammys not made of the strongest stuff, as Taylor Swift learned dropping one on the floor; The telecast attracted more viewers than it has since 2004 and viewership was up 35 percent from last year; The lyrics bleeped out of the Lil' Wayne, Eminem and Drake performance. [Buzzfeed, NYTimes, Vulture]
● Blink and you’ll miss it: Tila Tequila has deleted her twitter. Can it last? [Official Tila]
● For the paranoid flier: How to fall 35,000 feet and survive. [Popular Mechanics]

Dear Lady Gaga, I hope you're well. I hope you realize that without you, that little song-and-dance trip through What Was Popular In America Two-and-a-Half Years Ago would've been unbearable. And that if any of us were sitting there through the bitter end, it's because we thought that Grammy producers would've bribed you and Beyoncé into performing this collaboration or this one live. That would've made up for a host of increasingly terrible things to happen on-stage last night. Terrible things like Taylor Swift, that half-assed Michael Jackson tribute that conveniently cashed in on the green trend, the trying-too-hard hip-hop debacle of Drake and Eminem, Ke$ha looking like the She-Hulk standing next to Justin Bieber, the lack of any appearance by Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj, the many appearances of Taylor Swift, Dave Matthews, the Zac Efron Band Zach Brown Band, something about Haiti with Andrea Bocelli and Mary J. Blige, and of course, still more Taylor Swift. Yes Gaga, last night was tantamount to chasing shots of Lemon Georgi with 40s of Old English. But your loss to Taylor Swift in the Album of the Year category? There's a theory that proves it's quite consistent with the cynical nature of the Grammys, which stopped actually rewarding quite-nice music sometime ago.

Some of us are totally hopeless when it comes to engineering high-quality publicity stunts. And the rest of us let George Clooney organize such extravaganzas and idly wait by the phone, hoping he'll ask us to join him. Among those of us who were so lucky: Rihanna, Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera and Taylor Swift. Essentially, any pop star who has a project that needs or will need pimping has signed on to perform at Friday's televised benefit for Haiti. Sure somewhere in the germ of the idea for a Haiti relief telethon are the best of intentions. But as is typical, such intentions are jockeying with the quest for publicity and maximum viewership.

On days like today, I feel especially old and count the silver hairs on my head. Because today, Selena Gomez finally starts her mighty ascent from Disney Channel tween queen to Hollywood Person of Interest. Selena Gomez is a person who sings or acts, or for all I know, she could be what caused the crash of Oceanic Flight 815 on Lost. But my ignorance won't last long, because the crafty Gomez has wheedled her way between the two Taylors and torn them asunder.

● Kanye West plans to be on the good karma train in 2010 so he and fem-bot girlfriend Amber Rose got a head start over the holiday weekend by serving lunch to the homeless. [DigitalSpy]
● Madonna is moving on from her British prim and proper mom persona and will now take on the role of eccentric Hamptons cougar, having just bought Calvin Klein’s ex-wife’s horse ranch. [AngryApe]
● Don’t tell anyone but Katy Perry and Russell Brand are secretly engaged. Oh wait. [OK]

Christmas is that magical, precious time of year when many of us will make up for months of missed calls home by buying totally useless crap for the people we love. Yes, Christmas is magical. Our pop stars think so, too. In the spirit of giving, they will take time-honored Christmas classics and then cover them in a last-minute seasonal cash-in. No contemporary carol has been reinvented more than late great Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby." Today, we get to hear another desperate remake of Kitt's jingle, this one by beleaguered Brit band Sugababes. Following covers of the tune by Madonna, Kylie, Shakira, and even Taylor Swift, it not only sounds redundant, it seals the song's fate as the Gayest Christmas Carol Ever.

Rumors that are as likely as Miley Cyrus playing Batgirl: Taylor Swift playing Supergirl. Production details remain thin, but such a turn wouldn't be too left-field for 2009's biggest winner, especially Considering that Swift makes her big Hollywood debut next year and clearly has a desire to act if she can find the work.

Looking at Billboard's year-end cross-section of people who make music who have also managed to dupe a sizable chunk of America into believing that the music they make is "quite good", you could facepalm yourself into a weepy deep sleep. Or you can look on the upside: That this year, women ruled pop. Despite some lamentable omissions like Rihanna, Shakira, and Mariah Carey. As they've sold about a quintillion records apiece and generated some of the year's biggest buzz. In short: Though only nine women (including Fergie from B.E.P.) may populate the Top 20, seven of those nine are in the Top 10, with three sewing up the Top 3. Ruminating on such Venus-Mars complexes may seem besides the point, it's always great as a footnote to how we're evolving beyond gender gaps. Grrl power, rah rah rah, sisters are doin' it for themselves, and so forth. Full list, plus video where relevant, after the break.