Being a partier used to be as simple as throwing on a clean tee and getting out the door. Now, it's work. The Jane was once our last great hope; it's now all but shuttered. Just when we feel we've found our new home, a place where -- if not everyone knows our name, at least they know our label -- it loses its license, lease, or cool. If we were lazy, we'd advise you to try the Boom Boom Room every single night of the week, but if on top of the world isn't really your scene, here's what's been moving and shaking amongst the movers and shakers this week. We'll be trying them out one by one, consumed with the determination to find our Beatrice Inn incarnate.

Now that Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has wrapped up spewing his hilarious bile all over an empty UN general assembly, an important question remains: What's he doing tonight? You don't make the long trek to New York all the way from Iran and not sample a taste of our legendary nightlife. So what does he do? Loiter outside the Gansevoort and blend in with a crew of other blazer-sporting, open-collar-shirted loudmouths? Or does he charm his way in to a private event so he can catch those MisShapes he's been hearing so much about? Even if we don't agree with everything he says, we still want him to have fun. Because if anyone needs to loosen up, it's that guy.

You may remember Scott Harrison from back in the nineties when he was often spotted in the enclaves of New York’s VIP rooms and parties. After a decade as a club promoter, Scott had an epiphany. The seemingly dazzling world of glitz and status in NYC nightlife was not everything he wanted, after all. He'd soon begin dedicating his life to providing clean water to millions of people around the world. In just three years, his organization, charity: water has raised over $11 million.

It's been roughly over 200 days since Barack Obama took office, and since then, he's faced criticism from piggish buffoons and corpse-like wenches who just don't get it. Every day we watch unattractive talking heads yappity yappiting about health care and beer summits, and it's as painful to listen to them as it is to look at them. If someone's going to talk smack about our president, they'd better be attractive. In order to help Obama get better looking critics, we combed the city in search of the best looks money can buy, and we found it at the newly revamped Scores. After the jump, find out what nine strippers-turned-pundits think about our Commander-in-chief.

I am not a frequent visitor to The Box, even though I live just a short walk away. The shows don't excite me much; in fact, what I have seen has had the opposite affect. However, I cannot deny the cultural impact the place has had on our town. In the jaded land of nightlife, The Box has redefined the model-bottle era. In its performance-based theatrical approach, it has shocked us into believing once again that if you think outside of the box in clubdom, you can achieve success. My problem with the bottle-model era is that it's never been over the top enough to excite me. It never pushed the envelop or culture. Having Lindsay Lohan, Paris, and a gaggle of lowbrow celebutantes, models, and promoters throwing napkins into the air to generic music is not greatness. Any night at the World, Studio, Area, Paradise Garage, or any of the classic joints was better than the best nights ever at Marquee, Tenjune, or Kiss & Fly. I am not knocking these clubs, as they are doing their formulated best to entertain their crowds. They are the product of these times and are a reflection of the attitude of their owners and the need to make money against impossible odds.

Nightlife is getting bigger -- it can no longer be looked at as a 10pm to 4am sport. Promoters and their followings are no longer content with just late-night revelry, as brunches at fancy restaurants and roof decks and pool parties service the chic set now that summer is here. Eventually promoters will control the lives of their patrons 24/7, or someone else will. The Hamptons are doing great despite dire predictions -- but it's still mostly a money-losing proposition for those pulling the strings. Owner and promoter types feel the necessity to control their clientele, especially the hot girls, lest some other promoter type entice them away with visions of sugarplum fairies or more Grey Goose. It’s day- and nightlife, and as entrepreneurs start to embrace this concept, more swag and privileges will accrue to the swagged and privileged.

Zipcar is sold out. Your hedge fund boyfriend no longer has that Hampton compound (or the hedge fund for that matter). The gas prices at the pump read as high as the price tag on your Louboutin pumps. You are city-bound this Memorial Day weekend. Luckily, so is half the city, and they're going to be out and about, enjoying all the local happenings sans traffic, suitcases, soaring fuel prices, and annoying mini-clubs. Here's a short list of events approved for your day life and your nightlife.

● Memorial Day in Times Square - Yes, Time Square. Noontime Monday, enjoy a screening of the musical On the Town in the middle of Broadway at 47th Street. You need not fear the crazy cabbies and road-raging tourists; the city is clearing traffic from Broadway to create a pedestrian-friendly summer venue. After the film, dodge people -- not Pontiacs -- and take a long walk over to Hudson Terrace for light bites and a summery rooftop view.

The man who makes up the other half of Tenjune, on the opening of the Chandelier Room at the W Hotel in Hoboken tonight, his icons, and why New York's Meatpacking District is still the center of clubdom.

What's the story with the opening event for the Chandelier Room?
It’s tonight, 7 till midnight. The full facility will be open for all to see, even though the W has been open and operational for about a month. There will be a full red carpet outside and several live performances. There's a piano bar in the lobby -- very Frank Sinatra. There will be a lounge singer and a woman singing on the piano, like in The Fabulous Baker Boys. DJ Cassidy will be spinning. The Chandelier Room will be open inside, including the ballroom and outside. The Living Room Bar will host our surprise performer.

Terry Casey’s Le Royale is a serious attempt to have a club that's both musically and socially relevant. If you start with the premise that a 1Oak or a Kiss & Fly or Tenjune cater to a mostly musically ignorant crowd, while the Santos' Party House, Pacha, and Cielo seek musical nirvana, then Le Royale leans towards the latter. The DJs at the former clubs and their ilk offer up sets of music cloned from basically the same Serato. I just don’t think a really cool crowd wants to hear Kanye West, Beyonce, or crooker crap anymore.

Last week we commissioned our intern and woman-about-town Sarah to give us her list of the ten places in New York where guys are usually willing to dole out for her drinks. Granted, she's about 5'10" and blonde -- that's her with a charming young escort above -- but still, anything's possible. Take it away, Sarah.

1.The Box (Lower East Side) - You don’t go here unless you want to get really fucked up. Because of this, there are many patrons surrounding the bar who are ready and willing to include you in their party because they are most likely already fucked up. Just flash a smile (maybe even a boob), and you’ll be getting free drinks in no time. If you find yourself in a stalker situation, you can always run and hide at the upstairs bar.