J.J. Abrams, creator of "Lost", birth mother of "Felicity", is producing a new film adaptation of a Fifth Avenue apartment. The man knows no bounds. The film will be based on an article from the NY Times about the upper 5th Ave apartment, which was designed to feature Rube Goldberg-esque contraptions and mazes. The apartment, conceived by architectural wunderkind Eric Clough (“the sort of person who has a brainstorm on a daily basis”), features riddles and puzzles that are all part of a larger story meant to be solved by its inhabitants. He even got Jonathan Safran Foer to contribute to the apartment’s story. It’s all very Lemony Snickety, if you ask us. The last film Abrams produced was about a giant beast destroying Manhattan. Here he tackles an even bigger New York City nightmare: real estate.

Last night, German director Werner Herzog spoke with American director Jonathan Demme at one of those “A Conversation With…” shindigs held by the Museum of the Moving Image at The New York Times Building. As Herzog was waiting to take the stage, a man from Brooklyn was scaling the building’s ceramic tubes (the second man that day) in a bid to end malaria, or at least bring attention to its desired demise with an anti-malaria shirt.

Thiz jst in: According to an article in today's The New York Times, which we stole from our neighbors (sorry!), grammarians everywhere are fucked. With the proliferation of e-mails, text messages, and Facebooks, today's youth no longer need to punctuate, capitalize, or string together complete sentences. A study was conducted using 700 students between the ages of 12 and 17, nearly two-thirds of whom incorporated online colloquy into their school assignments. Of this trend, Berkeley-based Professor Sterling says, rather apocalyptically, "I think in the future, capitalization will disappear." Um, yeah rightz! LMAO!!!! BRB!