Possibly! As much fun as it is to let blind items stew in obscurity so we can titter, giggle, and cry, "Oh my God, no waay!" when our friends offer cockamamie possibilities for all the purported blanks, it's even more fun when you can plausibly fill them in to construct a tender coming-of-age narrative involving Robert Pattinson. From Blind Gossip comes a steamy and harrowing tale of a "Hot Young Actor Betrayed by Roommates."

Call me naive, but, despite the Twilight Saga being a billion dollar franchise I don't think the entire Young Adult section at Barnes & Noble should look like a Twilight theme park, all scarlet lips and repressed desire. But that's exactly what's going on (especially at the Barnes & Noble on 6th Avenue and 8th Street in New York). Even Wuthering Heights (above) was defaced to look like Edward and Bella had relocated to the 19th century English countryside and featured the tagline "Love Never Dies." (Especially ludicrous, since the two main characters do in fact die). Some of the showcases twitiles (get it?) include Devoured, Captivate and Tempted. After the jump, at look at some of the most shameless Twimitators (Twihards, maybe?), cover by desperate cover.

I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise that in addition to being number one at the box office, New Moon also ranked number one among pirated movies on BitTorrent. Some folks even thought to put it up on YouTube, perhaps thinking the honchos at Summit Entertainment would be so thrilled with their $500 million theatrical payday that they’d just let it go. That, however, was not the case.

"Okay, okay, so I got this amazing idea. You know what the world needs? No, I mean besides beefed up security at the White House? Vampires! On television! This is an a-mazing idea. It's a television show. About vampires. In looo-ooove. Wait, what? There's some show on HBO with the tits and the blood and the foreign people talking in bad Southern accents? And another one on The CW? But what if we vaguely slap the Twilight name on it? Yeah, I know, a-mazing right? I think that dude from the movies might do it, that sad-looking one who's always hanging out with Kristen Stewart. Nah, we don't have to get her. We'll get Miley Cyrus. I don't care if she hates it. She needs the work. Fuck yeah, vampires!"

If you were to glean some grand generalization about the fancies of humans from this past weekend's box office estimates, you would probably die of a heart attack. But that's because you eat movie theater popcorn, fatty. Also because judging from the three highest grossing films of this weekend, you and the rest of America has developed a fleeting obsession with death. Yes, it seems America has decided to lace up her combat boots, buckle up her patent leather corset, slap on gobs of eyeshadow and chunks of lipliner and polish her nose-ring. All the while listening to Rasputina and partaking in fiery sexting sessions with Death, that timeless, virile lothario. There's no other way to explain the prominence of such death-centric flicks as New Moon and 2012 and even The Blind Side. Side stars Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw, so you know some morbid curiosity was bubbling in a casting agent's brain-coils. Top 10 estimates and a few extras after the jump.

• To kick start your God-hearting Sunday round-up: No one can confirm whether Taylor Lautner enjoys intimate male companionship, but it won't stop everyone else from speculating. Because Lautner in this age of celebrity obsession is comparable to flecks of gold in 1849. [Queerty]
• Have a look-see at Heidi Klum Samuel's new baby pictures. [Us]
• Newest date on Chris Brown's Press Tour of Half-Assed Apologies: A stint on 20/20! [EW.com]

Not proper etiquette at a New Moon showing in the backwaters of Michigan: lecherously biting a teenage girl in a dimly lit theater while Kristen Stewart woodenly makes advances at Robert Pattinson. Not proper etiquette anywhere: Trying to dabble in pop music when all you're known for is playing a pale, broody guy with fangs. Sorry, RPatz. But really, this foray into pop music seems ill-advised.

Taylor Lautner is jacked. This is very difficult to miss, given that his biceps, deltoids, triceps are the size of small planets and have been photographed with far more regularity of late than non-planet Pluto. Lautner’s freakishly well-developed musculature is displayed on the new cover of Rolling Stone, which showcases the Twilight star posing in a wet t-shirt with a football and guns so large and meaty they look like they could feed all of America Thanksgiving dinner. Also on display, granted through the haze of a wet white t-shirt, is a nipple. After the jump a gallery of Rolling Stone’s other most nippletastic, and almost nippletastic, covers.

The teaser poster for the next Twilight film exists. I think the next movie is called either Eclipse or E-Clips: A Documentary About Digital Hair Ties. We're all about the shinier thing, and now that New Moon's been exposed as kind of middling, if hugely profitable, we need to hang our expectations on its follow-up. The poster's very telling. It implies wickedness and melodrama. There's a dramatic red thing, even! This implies an adept use of Photoshop's Lens Flare effect or blood. Or the former to convey the latter. A more detailed analysis after the jump.

So you're a foul brat who's nearing the end of her contract with the Disney Channel. And you're flipping out because you're sure they're just going to kick you out of the nest and leave you to fend for yourself while Kim Cattrall comes to suck up all your youth. The Disney Channel may chuck you over to ABC Family to see if you'll work with slightly older audiences. If they love you, they may vault you straight to primetime. And if you're Raven-Symoné (we all wish we were!), you're on your own (which may or may not involve having a sit-down with Tyra and Chris Rock.) Whatever happens, your fate is in the mouse's paw, not your own. Thus, today's tween icons have been forced to become extremely crafty, coming up with a surefire chemical formula guaranteed to garner them headline coverage, for minutes to days. Essentially, that formula is Twilight + bold controversial assertion + girlishly churlish phrasing -> HEADLINES! Let's take a look at some of Disney's latest breakouts (on the skin of contemporary culture) to pour this fizzy potion on their wilting careers.