We could dwell on the low lows of NYFW and declare the fashion industry dead and ask who would dream of making available such uninspired wearables! But let's not. Let's instead turn our boozy gaze towards Vivienne Westwood and her Red Label collection, which was on display at the Red Bull Fashion Factory. Such campy glitterati as Boy George, ex-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell, and two of five members of Girls Aloud already have. But maybe you're not the type to buy into celebrity endorsements. Fair enough.

Oscar de la Renta's son Moses isn't the only designer spawn getting into the fashion game this year. It turns out Vivienne Westwood's son has been bitten by the clothing designer bug as well. According to New York's The Cut, "Dame Vivienne's oldest son Ben Westwood is launching a line of menswear." He'll join half-brother Joe Corre, who founded Agent Provocateur, in carrying on the Westwood sartorial torch.

Break out your eye-patch and shine up your thigh-highs -- pirate chic is gathering steam as a sartorial trend this season. Over-the-knee boots were big on FW09 women's runways (including those of Prada and Rodarte), but it was Vivienne Westwood who resurrected the style for men this past week at SS10 men's shows in Milan. And there was nothing subtle about the latter's reference to wayward vigilantes of the sea; her second look down the catwalk consisted of silver, barely there swim trunks, a graphic knit tee, and nothing else save for an eye-patch, suede boots, and a sword slung in a scabbard at the waist of the mannequin in question.

● Warren Beatty has a new film project in the works -- his first in almost a decade -- and he wants Lindsay Lohan to act opposite him. The only catch is Lohan must live with Beatty during the filming ... I suppose as a way to monitor her partying ways. Sounds like a movie in itself. [FoxNews]
● Evidently Ben Stiller’s Joaquin Phoenix/Hasidic meth lab worker bit was a surprise to Oscar producers. Stiller created the bit and kept it a secret till he got on stage after he had a meltdown over the planned script. [P6]
● Kanye West was left embarrassed, for once, after fashion maven Vivienne Westwood had no idea who he was. West congratulated the designer on her show, and Westwood just stared at the "greatest rapper of our generation" blankly. Word is Kayne's head exploded Murakami-style from the diss. [NYDN]

It's likely that while the paparazzi look away, Vivienne Westwood and Pamela Anderson swap schoolgirlish post-its that proclaim in sparkling pink ink: "PAM + VIV BFF 4EVZ." And having won over ardent fans in artists Jeff Koons and David LaChapelle, it only makes sense that Pamela's appeal would span high art to high fashion. But Koons and LaChapelle probably make it their prerogative to be in touch with Anderson (after all, what good is an artist without his muse?), unlike Westwood. “I’m not a telephone person,” says the designer. “I don’t have a mobile. I can’t be bothered to communicate with people unless I have something very important to say.”

● Best thing ever: Get Anna Wintour and Andre Leon Talley’s fashion advice as your ringtone. [Cityfile]
● Recession be damned. Tomorrow, Louis Vuitton will offer a limited edition of their “Sprouse Collection” skateboard -- price tag $8,250. Proceeds go to Free Arts NYC program. [LifeFiles]
● Hard to believe: Rumor has it Vivienne Westwood would like to write the SATC sequel. [British Vogue]

At least in New York, designer hats are selling like hotcakes. Ann Demeulemeester and Sonia Rykiel versions have been moving off boutique floors at record speed. And retailers like Urban Outfitters are cashing in on the trend with slightly watered down versions of what’s selling on Madison Avenue, says the New York Times. Proof of the chapeau having its moment in the sun: the CFDA’s nomination of milliner Albertus Swanepoel for the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund Award, which fashion designer Alexander Wang won earlier this week.

I’m a sucker for anything inspired by the 1940’s (except for the German part), which is why my excitement over the Viviene Westwood/Melissa, the Brazilian plastic manufacturer collaboration didn’t come as a shock. The two are pairing up to create t-strap, heeled, jelly shoes. The t-strap shoe is an iconic piece of fashion history that gained popularity from post-war swingers. The jelly shoe is also a child of the post-World War II era, garnering its place in the world when Europe experienced a leather shortage. Combining these two styles in footwear isn’t recycling trends, it’s evolving them.