"Oh no!"; "What a mess!"; "It's like the end of the world all over again!" are all very reasonable responses to learning that the fourth film in the Spider-Man franchise, which was recently scrapped in order to be totally overhauled, may substitute Robert Pattinson for Tobey Maguire and Selena Gomez for Kirsten Dunst. Well, maybe not quite 'reasonable.' As far as superhero franchises go, there have been better and worse choices made.

If you were to glean some grand generalization about the fancies of humans from this past weekend's box office estimates, you would probably die of a heart attack. But that's because you eat movie theater popcorn, fatty. Also because judging from the three highest grossing films of this weekend, you and the rest of America has developed a fleeting obsession with death. Yes, it seems America has decided to lace up her combat boots, buckle up her patent leather corset, slap on gobs of eyeshadow and chunks of lipliner and polish her nose-ring. All the while listening to Rasputina and partaking in fiery sexting sessions with Death, that timeless, virile lothario. There's no other way to explain the prominence of such death-centric flicks as New Moon and 2012 and even The Blind Side. Side stars Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw, so you know some morbid curiosity was bubbling in a casting agent's brain-coils. Top 10 estimates and a few extras after the jump.

Today, we crack open the skull of contemporary culture and pick through its mushy innards for a twinky jewel that got lost in the shuffle over the past couple months. What with a rush of Robsessed Twihards taking the world hostage. Naturally, I refer to Zac Efron. He was that guy who was in that film long ago about some kids who went to some kind of facility to learn things, but ended up communicating in songs whenever any of them would open their eat-holes to have a chat. So now that we've been able to track down the elusive pikmin, we can narrow in on what he's been up to. Basically: Not much! Apart from beefing up his resumé, he's worked in a quick sashay-chantay with Gabourey Sidibe and now he's taking time out to encourage people to take care and look nice when they leave the house.

● Bromance alert: Robert Pattinson says he was “star-struck” when he met Zac Efron and adds he was “a really cool guy.” [Showbizspy]
● Sting is no fan of top British show The X Factor, calling the Simon Cowell-judged program “t.v. karaoke”; furthermore, none of the kids featured on the show are “going to go anywhere.” [BBC]
● Despite playing a rocker in Jennifer’s Body, Adam Brody’s singing was rejected for the film; turns out he can only act like he is singing. [PA]

I used to have a friend who was a lot like Courteney Cox's character on Cougar Town (which bows tonight on ABC) minus that girlishly neurotic/rockin' the suburbs/sexy divorcée vibe, plus the sleazy mack-on-impressionable college girls vibe. He used to frequent Williamsburg bars to that end. We don't really talk anymore now. But it is odd that we're all so quick to jump the gun and castigate Cox when really olds having been preying on youngs since the dawn of time, and it's mostly because she's a lady whose personal storyline most of the Western world is having trouble with. Or it could be the sneak peeks at the trailer. Either way, wolves, badgers, Donald Trump, and cougars have all been part of this tenuous food chain for ages. What's more problematic for me is that by singling out Zac Efron as her ideal prey, Cox will have to fight Perez Hilton for leftovers.

● After nonstop tabloid coverage, Jon and Kate Plus Eight are back on the air from their self-imposed hiatus. [Us]
● Now that Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil are dunzo, let’s take a look at their recently released private wedding album. [MrPaparazzi]
● Rumors that Vanessa Hudgens has banned BF Zac Efron from seeing Megan Fox are false; Hudgens is just (understandably) terrified that Megan Fox is going to steal her man. [Showbizspy]

When Richard Linklater directed School of Rock -- the first truly commercial success of his career -- you’d think he’d stay in the world of profitable, A-list comedy. After all, the paychecks are bigger than what you’d make for say, directing a film that features Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy discussing abstraction and truth, uninterrupted on the streets of Paris. But Linklater has always followed his own path, and despite making some of the most memorable films of the last twenty years (Dazed and Confused, Waking Life), the director still struggles to get projects off the ground. I recently had the chance to speak to Linklater from his home in Austin, where we discussed his latest documentary, his upcoming period piece Me and Orson Welles starring Zac Efron and Claire Danes, and anything and everything about the movie business.

● Breckin Meyer (remember him?) takes the piss out of Perez Hilton’s will.i.am "attack" video by demanding an apology from Zac Efron. [FunnyorDie]
● Despite possibly being the worst film of the year (if critics are to be believed) Transformers 2 took in an astonishing $16 million at its midnight screenings. [CNN, Variety]
● Jerry O’ Connell commits Hollywood Daddy Mistake #1: never leave your infant babies in the care of the paparazzi who are currently filming you. [TMZ]

● Lindsay Lohan has been hanging around sister Ali lately so her younger sister can foot the bill for Lindsay’s lavish lifestyle. [Popcrunch]
● Danger Mouse has collaborated with cult film director David Lynch to create visuals for his controversial album Dark Night of the Soul. [Dnots]
● Spoiler alert: Laura Leighton’s return as Sydney on the rebooted Melrose Place won’t last long, as she will be found face down in the famous MP pool at the beginning of the show. [EW]

● Sofia Coppola contacted Aussie musicians The Veronicas to be a part of her new film project. They won’t say what the project is, but Coppola is slated to film in June and July at the famed Chateau Marmont. [News.au]
● Lindsay Lohan might pull a Madonna and move to London to get away from paparazzi. Flaw in that plan is the paparazzi are just as crazy across the pond. [Celebitchy]
● Bravo is hatching another reality show, this one about Hollywood shopping mecca Fred Segal. [ETonline]