All the telltale signs were there. The glint of crazy in her eye. The Sarah Palin fandom. The miscategorization of Michelle Obama and Sonia Sotomayor as granola-munching, ganja-smoking liberals. That initial ominous crease in her brow. Her cautious stern tone. Still, somehow we thought that when Carrie Prejean was going to have a sit-down with Larry King to try to shed a little light on the house of horrors that some neurologists would call her brain, we'd learn a thing or two. Instead all we got was an uppity equine neighing on about, "Oh woe is me! Why is the world so unfair! Why am I unable to understand the English language, Larry King! I'm so angry even though you're switching topics, I'm going to make a total shitshow of myself on national television and create a scene because Regina George was modeled in my image and buy my effing book okay? LOL."

Seriously this was a trainwreck. I mean at first, everything was hunky dory. It was like seeing the L train approach from afar, in slo-mo. And then watching as a heartbroken hipster threw himself on the tracks while the creaking transport tenderized him. Blood and human bits everywhere! Even on Larry King's jowls! Mostly their tête-à-tête came to a head when King pressed Prejean on the details of the settlement which shut up her cakehole.

She bandied on about "confidentiality" even though King wanted to get behind motive and not the actual settlement terms. He probed further and she kept alternately talking about "confidentiality" and "mediation" and "inappropriate" with increasing meanness. So he tried to switch topics and took a call from a gay man in Detroit (many of them hang out near 8 Mile! True story!) The caller tried to ask Prejean about how she feels about gay marriage. And about any conflicts of interest she may have, since many of those who tend to her are obviously a bunch of 'mos.

By that point, Prejean took of her mic and looked blankly off to the side, continuing to mouth something about King being "inappropriate." Basically it was a mess. And now, King's name is going to be added to that lengthy short-list of liberal media demons. Even though he was simply asking stock questions and couldn't help that Prejean's instinct was to act like a gazelle drowning in a lake, when placed in a reasonable broadcast setting.