Unlike the rest of us who rely on such Twitter mainstays as hashtags (#amazonfail!), re-tweets, and tweet-ups (where Twitterers pick a time and a place over Twitter to meet up for a happy hour after work because they are weird and lonely) to expand our individual following, a single appropriately all-caps greeting is enough for Oprah Winrey to draw in almost 100,000 followers in just a day of registering. Sure, it's not a patch on Ashton's cool million, but within the next few days, she'll surely surpass him. Why, already she's talked about such fantastic things as rabies shots and Reuben sandwiches. She's also issued her first admonishment, which, absent context, sounds chilling: "George thats a promo not a tweet."

And because synergy is sweet, on Friday she had a whole show devoted to Twittering. This is poised to bridge the gap between hip, forward-thinking technophiles and casserole-baking Midwest moms who still find that a firm slap to their Packard Bell mini-towers tends to clear up the blue screen of death. Now we can all know to be freaked out when our moms trade up from Facebook and sends us surprise tweets imploring us to call home. Or when they unexpectedly join Twitter and send a private message saying, "I think I just nudged you whatever that means." And through it all, we have no one else aside from Oprah to thank for bringing American families closer together through increasingly obnoxious social media.